What If...? Rumlow Turned Against Hydra: Book One

EPILOGUE

The flight would be long, requiring refueling at least once in the Quinjet. At least that was what Steve understood from the conversations happening around him. Bucky and Natasha were discussing the possibility of changing planes at some point, to avoid further notice. Quinjets weren't the kind of aircraft that were common everywhere, making them almost too noticeable. He heard Bucky say they would have access to a private jet in London, owned by him and the organization he led. Sam commented that a change of planes would make it easier to get back to Madripoor, a name that meant nothing to him, though it was obvious it meant everything to everyone else. Steve perceived that he was the odd one out, the one that needed the most help, even when taking into consideration Rumlow, who was still under emergency care.

Once a plan was settled on, the flight became tedious. Sam was sitting near Rumlow, who had stabilized, but his fate was still uncertain. If he took a turn for the worse on the flight he would probably die, but if he could make it to Madripoor he had a decent chance. Steve couldn't quite comprehend the change in Rumlow, the one who had betrayed him to Hydra, who'd been with Hydra all along. Yet, he believed the changes. He believed he'd been captured by Hydra, making it a necessity to fight them. He only hoped he would be able to be in a position to do so in the future.

Natasha was in the cockpit, relieving one of the pilots so they could get some rest, while Steve was trying to feel more like himself. He placed the shield near him, within reach, feeling steadier for having it so close. He was wary of Bucky, but he had to admit he was also sturdier with Bucky nearby as well, even though Bucky didn't look like Bucky. He looked half feral, with eyes that were always calculating, always analyzing from a place of deep cold. The metal arm made Steve feel guilty and upset to see it, the proof of what Bucky had been through after the fall from the train so many decades earlier.

"Bucky," he finally said into the silence that up until then had only been broken by the steady roar of the engines. Sam looked up but didn't say anything. Bucky watched him, the cold in his eyes broken by a wariness and a warmth that seemed strange. For a fleeting moment Steve could almost see exasperation there as well, a familiar sight that made him want to smile.

"Do you know me?" Bucky asked. The tone was soft, inflectionless, but the eyes looked hopeful.

"I don't know. You don't seem the same."

"I'm not. Neither are you."

Steve nodded, looking down. "They were lying to me, trying to turn me against you. I think they were trying to turn me against everyone but them."

"I think they were," Bucky said, looking away.

"I can't be sure of how much damage they did to me, not yet."

"I have people that can help when we get to headquarters."

"Your headquarters."

"The organization's headquarters." The correction was subtle, but it seemed apt that Bucky wouldn't be seeking attention as a leader. He had always preferred to get a job done correctly, not seek accolades.

"I don't know if I trust you." Steve could see sadness in Bucky's eyes at that, not suppressed or dissolved by the intense cold of the Winter Soldier. "But I want to."

"Do you trust Sam? Natasha?"

Steve nodded thoughtfully. "I do trust them. Not sure about Rumlow, but I think I may trust him too."

"So it's just Bucky," Sam interjected. "They were really working on that, weren't they? Your friendship with Bucky was the biggest threat to them. Look what it did to him, brought him out of their control, and that was after a small interaction. They weren't taking any chances with you."

The horror of that hit Steve hard. He knew it had to be true, and that epiphany shocked him out of his uncertainty, at least for the moment. That was how to fight them. It was how he'd been fighting them in the facility with the drugs and whatever else they were doing to him, by holding onto his friendship with Bucky. They'd been chipping away not just at his sense of who he was, but his friendship with Bucky.

"We were practically brothers," Steve said to Sam. It was easier to talk to Sam and by extension, to Bucky who was almost right next to Sam. Bucky looked more interested than sad, possibly understanding what Steve was attempting to do.

"I knew that from the history books," Sam said with a smile. "But it didn't exactly give a lot of details."

"There was the time I defended a girl in Brooklyn who was being harassed by a bully. She got away and I was..."

"Getting your ass kicked," Bucky said, the exasperation plain. Sam was watching both of them in wonder. Natasha was looking back at them from the cockpit, also listening closely.

"Well, yeah, I was. The bully had me pinned down, literally stepping on my chest. I couldn't breathe, I didn't have the leverage or strength to throw him off of me. Then Bucky came up behind him and pulled him off. It took what, two punches to get him to finally back off?"

"Three or four, plus the kick in the groin," Bucky corrected. "I told him never to show his face around there again. We had quite the crowd around us by then."

"Yeah, we were only about 15 or 16, and I thought Bucky would be in trouble, but everyone, even the adults were looking at him respectfully. I had never been so happy to see anyone in my life." Steve smiled at the memory.

"You're forgetting part of it," Bucky said admonishingly. Sam was grinning at the conversation as he and Natasha were exchanging glances.

"You mean the part where you told me I was an idiot?" Steve looked sheepish. "And I got mad at you because you sounded like my mom and then you threatened to tell my mom."

"Yeah, that part. You could've been killed, idiot."

"That's when I realized, you were scared, really scared. You were scared that I could get really hurt or killed. I never thought of you as ever being scared."

"Everyone gets scared," Bucky said, but Steve wasn't sure if Bucky could feel fear any longer. The exasperation was still in his eyes while on his face as was a warmth, an affection for Steve. He was feeling steadier by the moment, reliving the past with his old friend, surrounded by people he knew were also his friends.

"Did you tell his mom?" Sam asked, as if he was unable to resist.

"No, I wouldn't do that, unless he was really hurt," Bucky explained.

"It's not something kids do," Natasha said with a smile.

Steve grinned, but it faded faster than he wanted it to. Bucky was looking sad once again, as Sam and Natasha watched them both. "It was a long time ago. I'm still not sure of you, Bucky, the person you are now. But I do know you."

"Will you let me, let us, help you?" Bucky asked is if he was genuinely unsure of the answer.

"Yes. But I need to know something."

Bucky only waited, not saying anything. Steve hesitated. "I need to be able to fight Hydra. I need to be sure this time that all of them are dead or captured."

"I think we all can agree on that," Sam said.

"Yes," Natasha added.

Bucky was once again evaluating with the icy stare, but Steve met that stare steadily. He had to be able to accept not only Bucky but the Winter Soldier. He had only the vaguest of ideas of who the Winter Soldier was, but he would need to find out. He had to know everything, the truth of all of it.

"All of them," Bucky said at last. The silence that followed was full of determination, uncertainty, sadness and anger. It held bitterness and pain, the knowledge that the fight was just beginning, and may not be able to be won. It was full of the darkest of possibilities that both Bucky and Steve would end up in Hydra's service. It was also full of the will to fight, no matter the cost to all of them.