Waymakers (Champions of the Crystal Book 9)

Chapter 12.3

The dinner broke up shortly afterward, everyone dispersing to their duties or rest. Sabrina and Ford tucked Lily in, checked on Seuréa in her room avidly researching Miah, and went to their rooms. They were silent, lost in their own thoughts, as they went about their bedtime routine.

Ford finished first and was tucked into bed, reading from a pad, when Sabrina approached. She stood for a moment looking at him, trying to figure out how to start the conversation they needed to have. After a moment, he looked up at her, and they both started to speak in unison.

"You don't—" Sabrina began, as Ford said, "I think—"

They broke off, exchanging wry smiles. "You first," Sabrina said, trying to be conciliatory. She was, after all, about to do something he disliked; the least she could do is let him have his say.

"Sit," Ford invited her. "You'll give me a crick in my neck like this."

She perched on his side of the bed, reaching for his hand. He clasped it warmly.

"I think," he began again, "that we ought to stick together. I know you're going to say we shouldn't risk orphaning Lily, but this is the way I think we can best ensure she keeps both parents. And I can't face any other option, Sabrina. You can talk all you like about the need for us to be in different places, but I'm no good to anyone if I'm terrified about your safety."

She sighed. "I know you've never really gotten over what Lily's birth was like."

"I lost you." His voice shook. "I felt what I was sure was your death. It's not something I can recover from, Sabrina."

"I lost you too, once. Remember? The Kyan kidnapped you and left evidence to suggest you'd gotten swallowed up by a black hole. I thought I was your widow. I know what it's like, how unforgettable it is."

"But when you thought I died, it wasn't because you weren't fast enough. It wasn't anything you could have prevented, or avoided. You didn't feel guilty about it."

"That didn't stop me from torturing myself with what-ifs," Sabrina pointed out. "Anyway, you came back to me. And I came back to you. Can't you trust that?"

"How can I? We got lucky. Both times. Our luck may not hold."

"Luck didn't get us away from the Kyan. We did. And you didn't fight your way through them in time to help Seuréa save me by luck. That was determination and courage. We're not at the mercy of fate, Ford. We make our own destiny. And we've walked away, together, every time. That's not luck. That's us."

He lifted her hand to his lips. "Now I know how you convinced people to follow you into anything."

"Nice to know I haven't lost my touch," she smiled. "But it's not just a speech, Ford. I really believe it."

"I know. That's the secret to your success." He sat up to kiss her lips. "I'm with you, Sabrina. Always. To whatever end we make for ourselves. Just don't ask me to leave you. That, I can't and won't do."

She sighed. "It would never be because I wanted to be apart."

"Not for any reason, Sabrina."

"Even saving the galaxy?"

"We'll find another way. Together."

"Okay." She knew she wasn't going to win this argument. "But I want you to talk to Zeph. I need you thinking, not wallowing in terror."

He grimaced. "No wallowing will occur. But I'll talk to him if it will reassure you."

"It will." She took a breath. "And before we get started, I want to go see Aunt Euphrasia. Just in case."

He shook his head. "I knew you weren't as confident as you seemed."

"I am. But I'm not a fool. And I owe it to her to be with her at the end, not leaving her wondering why I'm not there."

"I'll come with you. Do you want to bring Lily?"

"I have to see how much time has passed between our wedding and the...the last chance to see her. But I'd like to, if the timing is workable."

"Aboard Khediva?"

"If possible. If not, I can take us."

"We can talk to Khediva in the morning." He kissed her again. "But now, time for bed."

She put her arms around him and kissed him back. I notice you didn't mention sleeping.

He smiled against her lips. Eventually.