Big Shot | ✓

46 | big shot

For someone who treated her wedding as if it were an inconvenience, Amy had planned it within an inch of its life in true eldest sister fashion. The benefit was it gave me a whole long weekend's worth of distractions in Hilton Head, far away from Clemson and football and all of my misgivings.

In fact, I barely had time to think about Reid between all of the last-minute setups, rehearsal dinner, brunch and early roll call for the bridesmaids. I just wanted to be there for Amy.

"Here, this is the one." Beth handed me a tube of Charlotte Tilbury lip gloss as we were finishing getting ready in the bridesmaids suite.

"Oh thanks." I swiped it on quickly before capping it and handing it back to Beth. Amy had kept her bridesmaids fairly low maintenance, with Beth as her maid of honor, along with me and a few of her med school friends. We had satin baby blue halter dresses, and since the ceremony was going to be out on the dunes, it was easiest to stick to sandals.

It was almost February, but when I stepped out onto the balcony of the suite, the sun was warm on my skin. We were close enough for me to hear the waves of the ocean and the occasional seagull call, and I was filled with a sense of peace I realized I hadn't felt in a while.

Amy came out to join me, her simple white satin dress glowing in the sun and her hair loosely pinned up with a few orchids.

"You ready?" I asked her.

"No," she shook her head. "Is anybody ever?"

In the sense of love - real, aching, soulmate type love - I supposed she was right.

I took her hands in mine. "You look beautiful," I told her with a smile.

She echoed my smile, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "So do you."

My mother called for Amy, and the rest of us finished getting ready. The ceremony was held outside on the beach, where me, Beth, and the other bridesmaids had spent half of the morning tying white starfish and baby blue ribbon onto each end chair of an aisle. Jared's younger brother fittingly was my precession partner, and he held my arm firmly to keep me from sinking into the sand. I'd only met him that weekend, but he was nice.

The dunes were lined with tall stalks of marram grass that swayed in the gentle breeze, and as Amy and Jared read their vows to each other, I got emotional in a way I didn't expect. Even if things didn't work out for me, it was nice knowing that it worked out for other people in my life that mattered. It almost gave me hope.

There was a big deck back at the resort where the reception would be, with string lights along the railing that began flickering on as a gentle breeze came in from the ocean. Amy and Jared had their first dance to Boats and Birds by Gregory & The Hawk, and it made me unexpectedly sad. One line from that song stuck with me even after their dance was over, maybe because I related to it in a way I wished I didn't. I live to let you shine.

Jared's best friend gave one of those generic best man speeches - embarrassing and skirted the line between funny and obnoxious. Beth wasn't much better, but at least she was actually funny.

"Now actually, I'm gonna turn the mic over to our littlest sister, Jo." Beth gestured to me with a grin, and my heart stopped.

What? I mouthed to Amy.

"All the siblings have to speak," she whispered to me. "It's my wedding, I make the rules."

"Great," I grumbled before getting up from my chair at the bridesmaids table. Beth handed off the microphone to me with a shit-eating grin, and I had to fight the urge to pinch her in front of 120 people.