Big Shot | ✓

16 | control

I tried not to slam the door as I made it back to my apartment, but Bree had been sitting on the couch watching One Piece, and the door was on the same wall as our TV, so I was sure I'd given her little anime characters a shake.

"Bad day?" she asked, not looking away from the TV as she lazily dug through a bowl of kettle corn.

"I don't even want to talk about it," I sighed as I slipped my Vans off underneath our coat rack beside the door.

"Well, if it makes you feel better, you have a package from Free People." Bree gestured to our long wooden dinner table that occupied the space between the kitchen and the living room. We rarely actually ate at it  - instead, it served as more of a loading zone for things like mail, laptops, school projects, and 85 beaded friendship bracelets for stupid football players. We'd be using it for the first time all year for Derek's party on Saturday.

"Ah yes, nothing like conveniently timed retail therapy payoff to set my universe right," I grinned as I lifted the bag off the table before retreating to my room.

With the chaos of preseason starting, I'd basically just been in my apartment to shower and sleep and not much else. My bed had been unmade for most of the week, and the snake plants that lined the windowsill beside my bed needed a serious drink. The glow of the setting sun hit the little disco balls hanging from the top of my window, sending little squares of warm light splattering across my carpet like confetti.

Despite the steam still swirling around in my head, I had enough sense to gently place my camera bag and backpack down on the floor beside my desk before flopping down on my bed with a deep sigh. I held my Free People package to my chest for a moment, trying to squander a small win out of my decidedly frustrating afternoon.

Eventually I ripped the package open and started to unpack my therapeutic retail purchases. I'd been eying a pair of gray cargo pants for a while that had finally gone on sale, and I needed to replenish a few Youth to the People products. The last thing I bought was more of a spontaneous add to my order, and in my head I'd justified it as a way to meet that always elusive free shipping amount.

As a perpetual sucker for sleek but colorful marketing, buying a vibrator should not have been as enticing as it was, and yet there the box was, in all of its sleek and colorful glory. By now I'd also come to accept that I was currently too busy to proactively go out and try to get laid, so what was the harm in splurging? Anything in the name of self care.

As I unpackaged it, I took a cautionary glance towards my door, as if I was waiting for someone to come bursting through it to catch me in the act, despite the fact that that had never happened in the two years I'd lived there. There was a first time for everything, and that first time was usually inopportune.

It was compact enough to mostly fit in my palm, and it already came preloaded with a battery. Smile Makers is on a mission to normalize the perception of female sexuality by offering a line of premium sexual wellness products, the small pamphlet in the box read. These award-winning products are made for the woman who takes control.

I was so frustrated after my encounter with Reid that it almost made sense to try and relieve it, and as the box said, take control.

I lowered the shades of my window, making all of the light confetti disappear, then quickly slid my leggings off and laid back on my bed.

Taking a deep inhale, I switched it on and eased my eyes shut, beginning to move it gently around and explore all the most sensitive parts of myself. I felt myself sink a little further into my bed as my hips arched into it, reaching out for whatever was making my insides start to tangle up in a web of buzzing electricity, when suddenly his face appeared. Almost in slow motion, he raked a hand through his sweat-drenched hair, smiled at me with that toothy smile of his, and I shot my eyes open.