MY HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH

Guilt & Jealousy

Taehyung's POV

She turned away and my insides felt so empty. She wasn't just mad but was hurt and it was all my fault. I couldn't even tell her everything, it would only make both of us miserable and this part of my life is my vulnerability that I fear to share the most. It's better if she keeps on hating me,then it would be easier for me to forget her too.

Her beautiful big eyes were now red and puffy that seemed like lack of sleep and too much stress. The exam may be a part of the reason but I myself knew it was not the complete reason.

I wished she could slap me for whatever I had done, may be it would hurt less than seeing her like this because of me.

She took a nap again turning her face the other side. The whispers of other people about us were making me mad amd I could have lost my temper any moment just then Sana came.

She is one of my close friend and we know each other for more than 7 years now. We became friends from enemies, enemies in the sense, fighting for #1 spot of our class, we didn't know when we started discussing questions instead of competing with each other. Sana and John are my onky friends who knows about my family and stuffs going on.

Another reason for us being close is that his boyfriend is my neighbour and they both make me the love messenger which I totally hate doing but do it anyway.

We were discussing some questions and suddenly Y/n turned towards us and and within minutes she left the room.
I was staring at her back as she went when Sara's words pulled me out of my blank mind.

"She gave that upset, jealous and mad girlfriend look bro, are you guys together or something" she asked with a confused look.

"No, nothing like that " I replied.

"Then start something like that duffer, Are you going to be single all your life" she said with a mocking look.

"I am not into love things you already know, and you know my dad, me and the girl associated with me will be done for if he gets to know" I sighed.

"Don't get me wrong dude, but you father is so extraa, I can't even find out any solution for you, I just wish You go into a good college, get a job and become independent ASAP, thats the only way you can live according to yourself" She replied.

She was right, I can't go against my dad while being dependent on him.

"Leave all this and its already 8:25, go back to you classroom now, All the Best" I tried to close this topic anyhow.

"Yeah Yeah Going, so hurried to send me off huh, you just see I am gonna beat in you in this exams. Best of luck idiot." She ran away giving me a light slap on the back of my head.

I sometimes envied her, her parents were supportive, loving , her marks were not the only things that her parents worried about, she was into dating too while taking care of her studies.

I came out of my thoughts as the bell rang, and Y/n came after a minute or two.

She looked more pale than in the morning, is it just sleep deprivation i doubted but I couldn't dare to ask.

She sat beside me making distance, not just distance, she sat on the very edge, it looked like she can fell if she moved more, and it would be uncomfortable to give the exam sitting like that so I moved towards my edge a bit more and after a while she sat comfortable.

The smile from her face I used to love has long gone, it was just a blank face more blank than it was before I met her and only I was responsible for it and I wanted to apologise but with my every word there would be a question from her that I probably won't be able to answer so letting her hate me was the best option. She would forget me in few days like this.