Forever ; W.S

8. i'm sorry

IRL

The days felt heavier as the distance between Penelope and me continued to grow. My attempts to deal with the jealousy I felt toward her growing closeness with Dylan had only resulted in more confusion and frustration. I knew I needed to address it, but every time I tried, the words caught in my throat. Instead of confronting my feelings, I let them fester, which only made things worse.

Every time I saw pictures of Penelope and Dylan together, or heard stories about their time on set, it was like a sharp pang in my chest. I wanted to be happy for her, but the feelings of inadequacy and jealousy overshadowed everything else. It was affecting my mood, my focus at school, and our interactions whenever we did talk.

One evening, as I sat in my room, staring at my phone, I realized that I couldn't keep pretending everything was okay. I was losing control of my emotions and pushing Penelope away, despite my best intentions. I knew it was unfair to her, but I couldn't see a way out of the situation that wouldn't hurt even more. I took a deep breath and composed a message to Penelope. My hands trembled as I typed, trying to find the right words.

IMESSAGES

lola 💓

Hey, Penelope. Can we talk?

Of course. What's up?

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. About us.

I think it's best if we take a break from our friendship.

What? Why? Is this because of Dylan?

It's not just about Dylan.

It's more about me and my inability to handle these feelings.

I think it's best for both of us if we step back for a while.

Walker, please. We can work through this. I don't want to lose you.

I don't want to lose you either, but I need some space to sort out my feelings.

I'm sorry.

Okay. If that's what you need.

But know that I'm here if you ever want to talk.

IRL

The messages felt like a heavy weight lifting off my shoulders, but at the same time, it was crushing. I knew this would hurt her, but it was the only way I could think of to manage my own emotions. I stared at the screen, my heart aching. I wanted to reach out and tell her how much she meant to me, but the fear of complicating things further kept me from doing so. I knew this was the right decision for me at the moment, but it didn't make it any easier.