If You'd Be So Willing

and I'll lose it

A.N. I want to preface this chapter by reiterating that Tobin did not cheat on reader (At least not physically, emotionally is up to reader interpretation).

~~

"Right down to the minute, right down to the second. I can feel my every breath unfold." Down To The Second by Zach Berkman

Your revelation about Alex came at an inopportune time. With having another 50 minutes of game left to stew in your thoughts, you were able to talk yourself down somewhat.

The urge was still there, but you were no longer afraid you'd jump the poor woman if you stood next to her long enough. God, how embarrassing would that be.

Your sanity relied heavily on whether or not Alex was doing this on purpose or not. You knew she wasn't, she wasn't manipulative. She was unapologetically herself and that made you want her even more.

But, you couldn't. You couldn't give in. What would you tell Ryan when the relationship inevitably petered out? And keeping it hush definitely wasn't an option.

Then there was the fact that Alex was one of Tobin's closest friends. You didn't hold any loyalties to Tobin, but the whole thing felt sort of icky. At least Tobin had the decency to marry someone you weren't that close with.

Alex was a wrench thrown into your plans. Your plans to stay emotionally unattached to anyone that wasn't Ryan or Destiny. Yet, you were determined to keep her at a distance. You knew you couldn't keep her at a big one, it hadn't worked the first time. She always came slithering back.

Arms length would have to do until you found someone else whose love wouldn't hurt as much or better yet, you died. Whichever came first.

~•~

Alex looked mildly concerned whenever you saw her. You saw her rarely now that you were six months pregnant, taking a break from playing.

But on the rare occasion you did see her, she was concerned. No matter how much you assured her you were healthy, the baby was healthy.

You're starting to think your health was the least of her worries.

You sat down at the small Los Angeles bistro you two used to frequent whenever you had the time and means. She was seated near a window, something she normally wouldn't do, but she didn't seem to care about being seen.

You were grateful for the scenery. And the view out the window wasn't so bad either.

You spoke first. You always did now.

"Long time, no see."

Alex ripped her eyes away from the window, and a smile attempted to curl on her lips, but it never got far enough to be effective in soothing your nerves.

"You said you wanted to talk."

You nodded, then picked up the menu, you both knew it was a distraction. You always ordered the same thing, "Yes. I did. I-I missed you. It's weird not being able to do much physical activity, not playing with you, and you haven't been very good about answering my calls."

A waitress came over to take your order, Alex gave both your orders before turning back at you with the same concerned look she'd where the entirety of lunch.

"Where's Tobin?" Alex asked, then took a sip of her water.

You're jaw clenched, "With Christen."

Alex raised an eyebrow, "You don't seem too happy about that."

"I trust her."

Alex chuckled lightly, "I didn't say you didn't trust her."