Coyotes and Wolves, Milo Manheim Original Story

Let Go

(Trigger Warning ⚠️
Mentions of trauma events including sexual assault.)

POV: Estella

As I held him, I was waiting for his heart to slow. I listened carefully, with my ear to his smooth chest. It felt warm, like home, with me wrapped in his arms. Skin to skin, and even this wasn't close enough.

I don't understand how someone so perfect could just obliterate me. He broke down my walls, my shields, everything that kept me in the shadows. I always felt that I belonged in the shadows anyway. But maybe, I have a real chance to bask in even a sliver of his sunlight.

His heart wasn't slowing. It was speeding up.

I raised my head and turned to see his face. It looked, pensive...worried...I don't know.

"What's wrong?" I asked, abruptly.

It was so strange. It's like, I knew. I felt it before I heard it or saw it. There was something stirring inside of him.

"Um..." He cleared his throat. "...I...uh...just..."

I put my hands on his face. Why did I feel like my stomach was dropping. Like it wasn't even mine, but his.

"Milo?" I pressed.

"I like to take care of you..." Milo uttered, in a voice that felt distant. Like he was inside of his head.

"I know that, baby." I replied, waiting for him to continue.

"I figured that since no one..." Milo trailed off.

I waited, silently. I held his face, and my eyes remained trained on him as the thoughts flooded his head.

"Since no one...could help me. Since no one could take care of me...I thought that...I could..." Milo paused, his voice stuck in his throat and his eyes immediately released a steam of tears.

My lips began to quiver and I felt his sadness like it was my own. I became blinded by tears. Why was my heart breaking? Why was his pain now mine? And why did I want to keep it, so he didn't have to?

"That you could take it away? That you could be that for me?" I cried softly, as I watched his silent tears fall.

He finally looked over to my tear stained face. His own eyes still streaming.

"No one's ever tried to take care of me, not like that. No one ever worried about how I felt. Until you." He expressed, his voice breaking.

"I'm so sorry, baby." I uttered, in a whisper. "That's...that's not right. You're my white wolf. You're pure of heart. I mean...How could no one be there for you?"

"Hey, hey, Princess. Shh. It's okay." His calming voice working to center me. "I'm okay. You're here. That's all I need."

"This whole thing...it scared you. It scared the shit of you, didn't it?" I voiced, in realization.

"Yeah, it kinda did, but..." Milo began, putting his hand on my cheek.

"I'm like them..." I gasped, staring into space.

"No!" He sat up and grasped my face with more control. "Don't you ever say that, Estella!

"You didn't want to give up control, but I made you..." I continued to cry.

"No! I told you, that I trust you. I meant it. I knew I was safe. I never doubted that I was safe with you!" Milo began to almost shout, needing me to hear him.
"And it was so fucking wonderful, baby."

"Then, why were you so afraid?" I asked, in a voice that was barely audible.

"I was afraid that if I gave up control...there wouldn't be anything to keep me from falling apart. Like I am right now." He expressed, his tears falling harder.