after they met her

thirtysix

i v a n a

Matthew and Gray soothed me while I was a crying mess, bawling into Gray's shoulder. He held me tightly as I felt them exchange worried looks over my head.

After some time, I finally calmed down, sniffling as Matthew gently stroked my shoulder.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Matthew asked softly.

Gray raised his hand to signal a correction. "I think you phrased that wrong. We need to talk about what happened."

I looked down at my lap, nervously fiddling with my fingers. I started biting my lip from the stress. "I had a panic attack," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper.

"I gathered that much," Gray said, his voice serious. "You really scared us today. Twice. We need to know what's going on in order to help you. Do you understand?"

I looked up into his eyes, tears welling up again. "I don't know if I can manage to tell you," I whispered, my voice breaking midway. I was too afraid to tell them. Too afraid of what they might think and what that would make me. Would they think differently of me?

Gray looked deep in thought. I knew he wanted to get mad again, but he held himself back, looking into my teary eyes. "We have the whole night, princess," Matthew chimed in. "You can take your time and we will listen, okay?"

He lovingly took my hand in his to stop me from nervously fiddling. "Are you sure that's alright with th—"

"With the hospital?" Gray laughed. "What I say goes here. This place runs with our money. This is our private room; no one will enter unless I say so."

I nodded and took a deep breath.

Sister Veronica called us all into the gathering room of our convent orphanage. Everyone gathered quietly to avoid disturbing the afternoon prayer going on in the chapel.

"Good afternoon, girls," Sister Veronica greeted us with a wide smile. "Please take your seats."

I sat at the very back, perching on a stool to avoid getting teased by the other girls for sitting too close to them. The room was filled with the soft rustle of skirts and hushed whispers as we waited.

Another sister entered the room, her face composed and serious. "We have an important announcement to make. We finally have a new priest supporting our church. Please welcome Father Adrian."

We tapped on the wooden material of our chairs in polite applause. The large double doors at the front of the room swung open, and a man in a black robe stepped through. He didn't look like the previous priests we had known. He was perhaps around forty years old, with a well-groomed appearance.

"Good afternoon, young ladies," Father Adrian began, his voice smooth and calm. "It is an honor to be here with you today. I have been sent to guide and support this holy house, and I look forward to getting to know each of you."

His words were kind, but there was something about his tone that felt off, though I couldn't quite place it. "We are all children of God," he continued, "and as such, we must strive to live according to His will. It is through me that you will find guidance and understanding. Remember, I am here to help you, just as our Lord helps us all."

There was an odd undertone to his speech, something that hinted at an inflated sense of self-importance. He spoke as if he saw himself as more than just a servant of God, but rather as a divine figure in his own right. Yet, in my innocence, I didn't perceive the danger in his words.

***

I sat at lunch alone, quietly eating my meal as the lively chatter of the other girls echoed around the dining hall.