after they met her

fiftysix

Til it happens to you
Lady Gaga

i v a n a

"Ivana, is it tasty? You don't have to eat it if you don't want to. We can get you something else," Matthew's voice broke through my daze. His warm smile and the gentle way he pressed my hand felt too soft, too kind, almost like I was a child again.

They were all pampering me.

Ever since we returned, they'd been treating me like glass, fragile and about to break at any moment. I wasn't sure if I was grateful for it or just angry at how small it made me feel.

I looked down at the plate in front of me, the food barely touched. My fingers were cold against the fork. I didn't know if I was supposed to eat it, or if I even could.

"Ivana?" Matthew's voice reached me again, but I barely registered it as my mind began to wander, drifting back to that moment in the car—right after everything had gone up in flames.

We were driving away from the horror house.

I could still feel the cold leather of the limousine's seats under me, my body tense, my mind clouded. I remember staring into the rearview mirror, watching as the mansion grew smaller in the distance. Through the mirror, I could see it—a burning inferno.

My brothers had gone on a rampage, destroying everything, burning down the house and every person still left inside. The bodies, both the living and the dead, were reduced to ashes.

I shuddered.

The image stayed with me, gnawing at the edges of my mind. I hoped Jacqueline had escaped. She deserved better than to be caught in that nightmare, but I hadn't asked.

I was too afraid of the answer.

Beside me in the car, Glenn held my hand. We hadn't spoken much since it happened, but we didn't need to. His grip was firm but comforting, as if he was the only thing anchoring me to reality. In front of us sat Graham, Matthew, and Asher. Their voices mingled together, murmurs of relief and disbelief. They were crying—tears of joy for Glenn's return, tears of relief for mine.

I felt nothing. I was numb, a shell of myself, sitting there like I wasn't really a part of them.

"Ivana?" Asher's voice snapped me back to the present. I blinked, realizing I'd been staring at my plate for who knows how long. His head tilted as he watched me with that same careful expression everyone had been giving me for days. "Do you want apple juice or water?"

I hesitated. The simple question felt like it required too much effort to answer.

Sixteen days.

Sixteen days since we were rescued, and this was the first family dinner we'd had. The first time we were all together, sitting at the table as if things were normal again. But it wasn't normal. Nothing felt normal.

"Apple juice," I stuttered, my voice barely a whisper. "Apple juice, please."

I watched as Asher poured the juice into the glass, the soft sound of the liquid filling the cup somehow deafening in the quiet room. The table was loaded with food, more than we could ever eat. It felt almost obscene after everything we'd been through, but that's how it was. They were trying to make things feel right again, trying to heal us in ways they knew how.

Dad was talking to Glenn, his tone gentle, almost fatherly. I hadn't heard that softness in his voice in a long time.

He was fussing over Glenn, piling food onto his plate, patting his head like he was still a kid. Glenn hadn't really looked at me since that night.