Lethal Lovers

I Despise You Darling

I Despise You, Darling

I despise everything about you. Your endless void eyes, freakishly long legs, ever smug smile, deceptively soft touch, strangely floral scent. All of it. You attack each of my senses every time you come near me. To think that we were once best friends, I had more faith in you than anyone, whenever I needed advice or a shoulder to cry on, I went to you first. You meant the world to me; it makes me feel sick whenever I remember how the girl I loved was a lie

You betrayed me, your best friend, in the name of a grotesque experiment where I'm the lab rat. There's no doubt that you started the fire that continues to burn my life, but I can't deny that I've enjoyed pouring the gasoline. At first, I did my best to avoid becoming obsessed with you, constantly holding myself back knowing it was wrong, but you made it impossible. Your mind is a carefully curated garden brimming with all sorts of life. As each day went by, I wanted to pick another flower from it, feel another blade of grass, and bask in its intrigue.

I learned so much about you through observation, that I never could as your friend. Last year when I found out that you'd been stalking me, I had no idea why you'd do such a thing, now I understand. If watching me gave you a quarter of the feelings I get from watching you, then I'd almost forgive your actions. Gazing at your life through an analytical lens elicits feelings in me I didn't know existed. It's almost impossible to describe the manic rush of joy and power I get.

Although, I think we enjoy it in different ways based on how we view each other. To you I'm your favorite seed in your garden, you want to watch me grow into your ideal tree. So, you take what you know about how I function, and combine it with your understanding of the world to make a compost for me. As brutal as the water you drown me in and the harsh sun you scorch me with is, it's all part of your method to make me grow. I am a creation you live to see reach its full potential.

To me, you're the opposite, a malicious computer program that I enjoy watching destroy itself. You have never felt an ounce of empathy and have always needed to control any device you encounter. Once you find a target, you infect them with your virus, mining every piece of their data, and adding them to your collection of stolen lives. You successfully did it to me, but unlike the others, you kept going. Focusing on my activity far after you were done stealing from me, constantly coming back to see how I'd adapt to a new Trojan horse you threw.

Soon, I became the only user you engaged with, no other piece of tech mattered unless it was connected to me, and God, did seeing you like that feed my ego. A smile forces its way to my face at your meticulous plans growing in detail and intensity as you can't focus on anything else. I, a random individual with nothing but a hint of illness to him, is who you put all your resources into. I'm unable to fear you anymore, while I gaze at you practically living for me. In your efforts to crumble and rebuild my life. You've made yourself incapable of having your own.

Both of us have embraced the worst aspects of ourselves through the sick experiments we've been running on each other. You may be the greater evil between us, but I'm no longer afraid to admit that I've become a devil myself. I mean, I lured you into an abandoned warehouse, called upon one of my allies to help me fight you, and then shot you ceaselessly, making sure it was in areas that would maim, but not kill you. Now why would I do that? To make you paralyzed, of course. I was incredibly particular about where I aimed.

You'll be unable to move your limbs for at least four months, which invigorates me. I've been watching you and your caretaker. It's great seeing both your arms and legs in casts. You had already been losing your strength to your fixation on me, but now you'll be incapable of running away. If you find yourself fearing me right now, know that whatever happens next is your fault. I'm not the Antichrist, so I'll simply enjoy observing your lack of mobility, with no further harm, but prepare yourself because the moment you can walk, I'll be waiting.

Unless I'm lying like you always lied to me, and I'll strike once one of your limbs heal. Maybe I'll be tracking you even more and will be able to tell if you're pretending that you haven't healed so I don't hurt you sooner. Maybe I won't even wait for when your body starts recovering, and you'll wake up to me standing over your bed with my hands on your neck. I know how much you like analyzing and picking out patterns with me, so I'll make sure you never know what to expect. I could be bluffing, and this is all to scare you off, so I'll be done with you, you'll never know.

Are you starting to regret choosing me for this? Does the thought that you've grown a deadly poison plant out of your control kill you? Or are you loving this as much as I am, and you want to rub yourself all over me to get a blistering rash? I think it's a mix of both for you, but who am I to say, it's not like I've been watching your every move, right? No matter what you feel, just remember, I despise you, darling.