hush now, little girl : a diary

page five

Do you remember when you used to tell me to always stay humble?

I've kept that advice close.

I try to stay humble, though you've given me plenty of reasons to feel that way.

Gosh,

I keep remembering, unable to stop missing you. You were so mature. You always knew where your life was going, your dreams, and your future plans.

Meanwhile, here I am.

Stuck. I'm just a simple high school student, still unsure about my life after college. What are my dreams? What goals do I want to achieve?

Looking back, it seems silly to have been so fixated on you and those romantic thoughts. Loving someone who couldn't love me back. Now I keep my distance from people, afraid of getting too attached.

And yet, I didn't realize how hard it would be to love you.

Today is May 2nd, my grandfather's birthday. Our place is full of guests and close friends. We're celebrating with a small party, an early dinner followed by drink sessions and lively conversations.

Some of our family members sing along to karaoke, while others catch up and share stories.

And here I am,

in our little kubo,

our favorite spot,

lost in thought with my phone.

Maybe seeing you again would make me happy.

You were invited, but you didn't come. Not even a hint of your presence,

just your cousins.