lacuna、r.suna

eleven

lacuna
☆

you expected your short walk towards the restaurant suna had told you about would be quiet and peaceful but who would've expected that you and suna would be talking along the way— reminiscing about your past with him?

"do you remember the first chocolate you gave me, when we were ten, during valentine's day?" you asked as you walked on the pavement, "yeah? it was a hershey's right?" you smiled and nodded, "would you believe me if i said i still have the wrapper?"

"that's nasty, y/n. you should throw it away." you gently hit him, "i thoroughly cleaned it, stupid." he rubs his shoulder where you had hit him, "you can't hit me, i'm an athlete. what would happen if i had a game the next day?" he sarcastically pouts.

"i thought you'd quit volleyball? because you said, and i quote, 'you don't see a future with it but with me'?" you teased, "tsumu and sumu begged for me to stay and i forgot i was on sports scholarship that time," he shrugged, "and, i still mean what i said." suna slightly leaned towards you.

you feel your heartbeat racing so fast you could even hear the beat of it. "whatever, are we there yet?" you asked, sheepishly looking away from him. "hm? oh yeah, we're here."

you looked to your right, examining the familiar restaurant. "huh, isn't this—?" suna cuts you off, "where i took you on our first date?" you hummed in response as you continued to look at the restaurant.

"aren't we going in? i'm really hungry." he chuckled at your pouty behavior and grabbed ahold of your hand, "welcome! table for two?" a waitress asked as you both entered. "table for two, please." the waitress smiled and led you both to a table.

your attention wasn't focused on the waitress rather, it was on your hand holding his. his touch felt so soft and gentle like you would never ever want to let go.

what do you think ten-months-ago-you would say if you said you and suna had closure again? what do you think she would say if you told her you're trying to trust him again?

your trust was like a fragile glass, one wrong move and it's broken. even if it was an accident.

can a broken glass still be fixed?

you aren't one to dwell on your past with him because you knew you had to move forward and on with your life, rather, you were retroactive; maybe because of what you thought suna did that scarred you.

you shook your thoughts off, disregarding them now that you know the real situation. 'what's thinking about the past going to do? it's not like it changed the present if i hadn't done what i should've done ten months ago.'

"y/n?" you snapped out from the deep thoughts you had thought about, "huh?" you glanced at him from your shoulder, "called you a few times, what were you thinking?"

"oh, sorry, it's nothing! have you ordered the ramen?" you awkwardly laughed as you picked up the menu, using it to cover your face from suna. "mhm, but whatever you thought about is bothering you." he paused, looking at you from above the menu.

"what is it? bother me about it too," he asked, putting his hand on top of the menu and pushing it down.

as soon as your shield, the menu, was forcefully downed, you put both your hands up in defense, "it's nothing, really!" not convinced by it, he skeptically looked at you.

"i'm not forcing you to but, you know can tell me, right?"

"i know."

silence engulfed between you and the brown-haired boy. it wasn't deafening nor awkward, just comfortable silence. he knew that it was hard for you to open your heart to him and trust him again, knowing he had once broken it, and also because you both had just gotten closure not too long ago.

"i was thinking about what ten-months-ago-me would say if i told her that i'm trying to trust you again.." you paused, not looking at the boy beside you. "and it's kinda hard to think what she would say." you sheepishly hung your head low, fidgeting your fingers.

"y/n," he gently cups your chin, making you look at him. "a broken glass could never be fixed— even if it was fixed, it'll leave cracks so replace it with a new, firmer glass to use again." you shot him a confused look making him chuckle.

"what i'm saying is that i know i accidentally broke your trust and it's hard to just fix what i had broken. even if it was fixed, i know it'll leave a scar so i'll earn your newfound trust again." he said, holding your chin carefully like a fragile glass.

your eyes widened in surprise, you never took suna as someone who uses figurative language in things like this. it made your lips curl in a small smile, "even if the new glass is different from the previous one?"

"you'll learn how to use it once you're ready to let go of the previous one." he gave you a small smile before letting go of your chin. "and you told me that you're not good with words earlier." you giggled, "you know, i never took you as someone who uses simile's."

"dunno, it just came out of my mouth." he shrugged making you smile, "thank you, rin, for being, willingly, bothered about it too." his eyes slightly widened in surprise, 'she called me rin..!' he mused.

he felt like a little girl having her experience her first puppy love because with that single action, he felt like he drank too much caffeine to the point he was palpitating. "can you.. call me that again..?" he quietly asked, more like a whisper.

"hm? rin?" you confusingly tilted your head as he turned away from you, "what are you doing—? are you blushing?!" you tried sneaking a peak of his flustered state. "no." he covered his cheeks, using the back of his hand while trying to look away from you.

"you're blushing!" he cleared his throat, fixed his posture, and faced front. "no, i'm not." you continued to tease him until your food had arrived. "you were definitely blushing, rin."

"no, i wasn't. how about we eat, yeah?"

"nah, how about we talk about that 'iloveher' account on twitter? think i forgot about that, rin?"

it wasn't long until you both finished eating and it was already two pm going three. who would've thought you'd be talking with suna for hours as you ate your ramen like in the old days?

everything felt surreal— maybe this was a dream, maybe you were dreaming. maybe this ice cream you're sharing with him right now was a dream too?

"you've got ice cream on your nose, y/n." the brown-haired boy wiped the excess ice cream as you both sat on a bench. "you're so messy." you shoot him a small glare, "you cannot be talking, you literally have ice cream on your cupids bow too!"

you childishly stuck your tongue out to him and god fuck, he badly wanted to kiss you right there. he chuckled it off making you look at him, "what?" you asked, glancing at him.

"nothing, i just miss you."

the moment you broke up with him, it felt like pages in his book of life had been torn and ripped into chunky pieces, leaving a big gap in between his life story— a lacuna, you could say.

but the moment you came back into his life, the remaining empty pages in his book started writing on its own.

how fortuitous.

it felt like torture arguing back with you during those earlier days but if it meant being noticed by you, then maybe he was contented.

but turns out he wasn't. he wasn't contented.

he knew he was being obvious. after a month of having you back in his life, he thought that maybe arguing with you wasn't enough for him to hint that he missed you so he started treating you differently, slowly and slowly each day.

who would've thought that would work?

fate? destiny? perchance.

honestly, he had always wondered if you had missed him too but he never got to ask you if you did the first time you met after seven months, just like the miya twins asked for.

now that you're back in his life, and definitely not as a bandmate, he feels so contented—

so contented because you trusted him the second chance to be in your life once again.