Love in Many Forms V.1: How It All Started

Chapter 2: Acceptance Also Comes with Great Pain

Here comes the months in where I accepted that I really really liked Kent, it was hard to admit it at first, but it took me a while to have the courage to tell my best Friends from the fact I admired him from afar was really frustrating, yet he was my motivation to do better in class and I had hoped he would notice me. So, I continued doing my best in academics and eventually it all payed off because I got into the honors list! I was so enthusiastic that time because I never really knew I would get there but I did, and suddenly one day one of my friends in our group came to me to ask if he could court me but I still liked Kent that time, but I thought to myself that maybe I never really stood a chance with him. So, I allowed the guy to court me, and it took 2-3 weeks when I said yes to him. While me and the guy were dating, I was scrolling through my friend's mydays and saw Kent's, it was a girl facing backwards and the song choice was kind of fishy. So, the next day I asked Arcenas if he knew something about it and he told me that Kent said: It was his best friend, but I replied: You sure a guy would put a picture of their best friend with that song choice? I couldn't help but wonder but it was none of my business, so I just moved on and knew Kent had someone else and I had someone too. Months have passed and I realized I was in a toxic relationship with the guy at first, he treated me nicely but as weeks passed, he started treating me like shit like I deserved it but all I did was adjust to him. I always communicated with him but all he did was push me away and blocked me, removed our nicknames, left me with a heavy heart without talking our problems out. But the day came when we had to plan for our Christmas Party, I was assigned to manage all the food and events as the Vice President (which was never a part of my plan by the way). I don't get why my teacher even chose me as the Vice President, but her reason was because I seemed "Responsible", responsible my ass I didn't like the job because my classmates were so noisy, irresponsible and disrespectful most of the time.
But I just did my job since it was given to me and I didn't want to fail my teacher, on the other hand I really didn't like our president because she was very bitchy and had such high pride and she felt like everyone was "Scared" of her because of her bitchy attitude but I did not tolerate that and talked to her before to lessen her attitude to have a little more respect for the others and to our adviser, but she didn't listen and just went on with her "Smart Ways". I didn't care anymore since if it's working for her then so be it, but of course I was also tired of doing my part because nobody listens, but I just told everyone to shut up cause the President gave up on her part and tells me to step up, but I really didn't like it honestly because I hated noise and crowded places. But back to the topic, we discussed for the Christmas party, everyone was stressed and all and our adviser didn't mind because it was our problem to solve since we wanted this Christmas party and it had to happen because on the day of the Christmas party will also be the day of our First Quarter Recognition. So after all the endless planning and meetings, it was all settled and we were all so excited, although the only reason why I was excited is because of the food for the Christmas Party and my awards as an honor student, pretty funny huh well I was also kind of expecting Kent to be there but when the day of the Christmas Party came, he wasn't there but then that was the day too that I found out he was Muslim. And based on my research, Muslims don't celebrate Christmas, so I said it's okay. I was enjoying it because my best friends were there, lots and lots of food but the first thing I grabbed was Coca-Cola HAHAHA. Fun Fact: I love Coca-Cola, I've been addicted to it for 4 years straight, welp drink now, Uti later. I was excited cause the recognition was about to start and once I was called, I felt happiness cause all my hard work payed off and I busted my ass for this all those countless sleepless nights crying if I would even make it, then I didn't expect I would receive a few more awards but I was even more happier, after the Christmas party he took me out on a date and that's all. I went back to my house and surprised my family with my awards but all they did was say Congratulations, no hugs or kisses. I got to admit I appreciate praises, but I love it even more if it's with Physical Touch because that's one of my love languages. But then I went to my room and took photos of my awards and cried tears of joy because I still couldn't believe I actually earned it, but then all of a sudden, he chatted me and the guy and he started a little argument and I don't even know why but instead of crying tears of joy, I cried tears of pain. It felt like the walls were pushing against me as I cried and cried of pain, but then it was Christmas break and all I did was spend it in both misery and happiness, well misery because we kept fighting and happiness cause my family and I were together but it wasn't the kind of happiness I would really enjoy of course my family still had problems even during holidays so I stayed away for a bit to not pile up more of their problems. Then when the break was over, we still weren't okay I tried to fix things, but I forgave him, but I felt pain still because he didn't make the effort to fix things. Then it was January 8 when I asked Kent if I could talk to him about things since I opened up to him before and he agreed, so I waited for him for 2 hours and just listened to The Bone by Pamungkas. And when I saw him, he arrived with his bike, and he sat down and covered his hands on his pockets. I was so hesitant but then I started tearing up and he asked: So, what is it that you wanted to talk about? I told him I needed advice about my relationship, and he told me that he was hurting me and I still stayed, I told him yeah. But he gave me the best advice which I will never forget to this day he told me it was either my choice to improve on myself or keep being this way, but it will also depend on me if I would apply it to myself or not, he didn't really care he said, and I just looked at him with his bittersweet expression again. And that was the exact day that I admitted to him that I had feelings for him, and he told me, but you have a boyfriend now and I responded: "I know." So, he told me to stop liking him already because I have someone and it's for our own sake and I told him no don't worry I already stopped, he also told me that he was courting someone, and I told him it's okay I understand that. And I smiled at him because he was listening to me and actually understanding me not like the others would. I lost track of time and already realized that it was getting late, so I said Thank you to Kent for listening to me and giving advice to me and as I arrived back to my house, I felt relieved knowing I told Kent the truth, but it was all too late now. Then it was February, the day of the Intramurals and I joined the Dance Group just to increase my grades a bit and to have a little fun for myself. And he went there to support me, but we still weren't okay that time. Fast Forward to a few weeks he gave me a promise ring to "prove his love for me" he said, but we hadn't communicated properly on what had been bothering us lately. Then a after a few days I took a look on the ceiling and remembered what Kent said and he was right, I knew this relationship wasn't healthy and good for me so I took the move to break up with him and when I ended things with him, he sounded like it meant nothing to him and told me he liked being with my best friends more than me and that's when I knew that it wasn't love, it was just infatuation. I felt pain but didn't cry because he wasn't worth the tears, he treated me like shit, showed me off as if I were a trophy, but I just distracted myself by studying and being with my best friends who listened to me when I told them I ended things with him but all of a sudden when we talked about it, they told me that they had really had a bad feeling about him and I told them I was sincerely sorry for not believing them in the first place, they comforted me while I was crying ugly for accepting his yes before getting to know him and I never wanted to believe in love again. I didn't want to take risks again, so I studied and studied and studied and played music repeatedly till I drowned in my bed, I gave back the stupid ring he gave me and went somewhere after class to clear my clouded mind. Then me and Kent started chatting and told me stories of how nice the girl he was courting is and he opened up to me how she wouldn't give time for him even just to update him when Kent is sacrificing his time just for her, I felt bad yet all I could do was advise him and reassure him that he needed his own time too because he was suffering so much. But one day everything changed when Kent and I talked one night, he bought me chocolate milk tea which I appreciated very much, and we opened up about everything that's going on with our lives and I told him I ended things with him and all of a sudden, we stood in silence which I enjoyed very much with him. It took him a few minutes to tell me something that struck me, He told me that the girl he courted left her already, I told him I'm sorry that happened and we stood in silence even longer and while I was drinking the milk tea I had a sudden brain freeze and he told me: "Hey finish that, I treated you" and I was laughing a lot and he called me crazy, we enjoyed the peaceful night little did I know it was our favorite time of the day. Then I told him thank you for tonight I enjoyed our little time together and thanked him for the treat and went we walked together to find a vehicle to drop us to our houses. I felt good and relieved that night knowing Kent was there to listen to me but I also had this sad feeling because he got his heartbroken, then while on the Tricycle, my music app was on a shuffle and suddenly started playing Love by Wave to Earth but I stopped the music because I still didn't admit to myself that I had a great time with Kent then played the music again because it was Kent who listened to me and understood me even if we just stood in silence most of the time. As I arrived back in my room, Kent and I started chatting again and I thanked him again for this day and he just responded "No worries" and after that we started talking to each other secretly and meeting up secretly, and then second quarter came and fast forward I was still on the honors list and suddenly we all found out Kent was on the list too! Arcenas and Gab was shocked but he was happy for Kent cause he deserved it even Lia and Gwyn were amazed how a quiet man would make it into the honors list but there am I, smiling widely telling myself he earned this, the day of the recognition came and there we all are happily receiving our awards for the honor students and for the conduct awards, perfect attendances, etc. I asked Kent if he would like to come with me and I treated him for Matcha as his reward and he accepted, I was so proud of him and kept repeating to him over and over again that I was so happy for him and he did his very best and he replied with his gentle "Thanks". I would treat him to eat out, but I ask him what he wants to eat and he took me to his usual burger place and we ate there and enjoyed our pep talks then burger places turned to iced coffee to nachos and sodas to pastils to 7/11 foods with my favorite drink to share with him which is Vitasoy but he loves the Choco milk flavor. I enjoyed talking to him and spending time with him he was so much fun to talk too and to tease, I remembered buying him a onigiri wrap from 7/11 and teased him that it isn't made of beef but pork and he panicked because I was acting too serious and I just kept laughing at him and for the first time in my life, I made him laugh because the plastic touched my nose but he hid his laughter, but I stopped and smiled at him and I starred at him and I looked away instantly because he might still think of me as a weirdo. Then we smiled and starred for a quick second, and I told him I had to go now, and he watched me as I leave, and I turned to look at him and smiled at him and said my goodbyes and as I was on the sikad, I smiled so wide and I saw Kent seeing me leave and smiled even wider and started playing love songs on my phone, Those were the most enjoyable moments of my life with Kent and I always treasure and cherish it in my heart. Being with Kent was the best feeling in the world, If I could just stop time and talk to him more I would, but I guess the world just doesn't work that way, So I started balancing my time for acads and him, with every opportunity to spend time with Kent I grab it, I don't wanna waste a single moment and second being with him, he completes me and that's something to hold on. Him and I just talking, well mostly me cause i'm the yapper and he listens, us laughing together, accidental touches and stares, oh I had the time of my life just enjoying the little things with him and I see that he appreciates it too and he started saying "Thank you" too and I just looked at him and smiled with a gentle "You're always welcome, Kent." I would always tell him if ever he needed someone to talk to, I'm always here for you no matter what, and he responded with "Thanks" while starring down and I just blush really hard. I truly appreciate every time we went out together, life felt even more better with him, but I was also in the lowest phase of my life where I just wanted to end it all, I used to be a suicidal girl but I wanted to stay and wait for Kent, he never knew I was like that in the times we were together, But he saved me and that is something he never knew.