Love in Many Forms V.1: How It All Started

Chapter 6: Home is not a Place but a Person

"Home isn't a place, it's a feeling." – Cecelia Ahern, it is very much true that the word "Home" isn't a place, a roof over your head, a warm fireplace in front of you to keep you warm from the cold, a bed for you to rest on but a feeling and that feeling is with the person you run to, to find your peace and safety with. The person is Home because when you run to them, they provide their protection just like a roof, they give you the warmth needed to let go of the pain you've been keeping inside you, their touch is your bed for when you need to rest. You can either look for that feeling with your friends, family, pets, or significant other. If you noticed why every time, I mention in the other chapters why I always say: "House" instead of "Home" well it's because where I live in is madness, a toxic household that suffocates you till you suddenly burst out and don't know who to look up to. I was never an open person to my parents, I just opened up to my older siblings because they understood me and never snitched on me, but whenever I open up to them, they just won't actually understand what I'm feeling in a way they won't criticize me or look down on me. So, as from time to time, I kept those feelings and secrets to myself because I didn't want to be too much of a burden to my siblings. So no the house I live in isn't my home, where you ask? Well, home isn't a place, but a person and who you ask? Well, it's Kent. You may think: "Why not just try to bond with your family to fix things better?" Well, that's not the case for me, you see I love my family we bond by going out, telling stories, eating together, be in one room where we all just talk about new things going on with our lives. But if I try to bond with them, there's nothing really much new going on with my life, but I will admit there's a lot, but I tend to hide them from my parents because they're strict and I don't know how they will think of it. But when me and Kent are in each other's presence, I just randomly opened up to him about my life even though we've only known each other for months it just felt like I could trust him somehow, all my secrets, feelings, thoughts, my deepest darkest secrets too. Kent just listens to me, and he doesn't judge me, and the way he tries to offer a piece of advice for me to get through the problem is something I wish to receive from my parents, but no I receive it from Kent. All the things I wish I feel and receive from my family, Kent provides it all, the combination type of love Kent gives me was very confusing, but I saw him both as a lover and treats me like a parent at the same time (I deeply apologize if you think this is weird but hear me out first) But truth be told, Kent showed me how a father and mother should love (FYI: I have Daddy and Mommy Issues) and if I'll be deeply honest, every time Kent praised me by telling me: "I'm proud of you" ,"You can do it" ,"I believe in you", Daddy Issues by The Neighbourhood starts playing in the background and my whole mind just shuts down. But it was very wrong of me to think that way and I had to stop thinking that way and see the love that Kent gives me as his own. How can I blame Kent? he too never had a father figure growing up, but that's what made him become a better man for himself and to never be like his so called "Dad", I may have had my biological dad by my side for 12 years before I met my stepdad, but boy he was very abusive. In what way? Verbally, Physically, you name it, but I still appreciate my stepdad too for doing his best to bring me here in my new hometown but my relationship with my stepdad isn't really the best. But I just know when the world gets mean to me, I run back "Home" and he is my home, Kent, he protects me and shelters me by giving me his big hugs that are oh so warm and for once I feel at peace with him and I don't have a worry in the world because he keeps me safe and sound. I feel more at home in his arms then my own house, I often catch myself saying: "I wanna go home" while I'm already in my house, but I'm referring to Kent because he makes me feel so comfortable, he'll always be my home no matter what happens, he'll always be the one who can make me feel safe when no one can. He is my safe place and that's all that matters to me, I hope he feels the same way too.