OBX Imagines

All You Need Is One Friend- Rafe Cameron pt. 8

I woke up at 4am. My head hurt, my eyes hurt, my chest hurt. I looked over at my door to see my phone in the same spot where I'd thrown it. I turned back on my side and looked out my window. I laid there for 10 minutes before I got up and went to the bathroom. My reflection looked awful. I was pale, my eyes red and puffy. I looked dead, which was a complete reflection of how I felt inside. I turned the light off and went back to my room, kicking my phone across the room as I opened the door and went downstairs. Mom's car was in the driveway, I was thankful she was home, even if she was sleeping. I went to the fridge and rummaged to the back. My mom and I didn't drink much, and I never did this, but I had to take the edge off. I didn't care if it would make me worse. I grabbed two beers and took them back to my room. I closed the door and went over to my bed, leaning over to open the window. I started drinking.

I woke up the second time that day to my mom shaking my shoulder. "Lily, wake up!" I fluttered my eyes open and was met with very worried ones. "Lillian! What the hell is going on?" I almost closed my eyes again, but she shook me hard. "I find you slumped against your window with an empty beer on the floor and half of one in your hand? You're lucky you didn't fall out the damn window. Don't you ever do that again." I looked at her and felt bad that I made her so worried. I started to tear up, "I'm sorry mom." Her eyebrows furrowed and she sat next to me on the bed, pulling me into her arms, "What's wrong Lily?" I started crying hard, "JJ hates me, he thinks I'm a whore. I hit him mom. I hit him! The pouges hate me. I lost the only friends I had. They were like a second family. Everything just went to shit. I tried to call you when you were at work, I freaked out and had a panic attack. I didn't know what to do. I needed you mom." She held me tight and stroked my hair, "I'm so sorry baby, I'm sorry." I sobbed into her chest, and she rubbed my back until I began to calm down. "I didn't mean to scare you; I just didn't know what to do." I pulled away and looked at the empty beer on the floor, "I just wanted to numb some of the pain." She looked at me knowingly, "I understand, but that's dangerous. Next time come get me. Promise me you won't do that again." I smiled weakly at her, "I promise mom, I'm sorry." She gave me a hug, "I know you are Lily. I'm sorry too, I'm sorry I couldn't pick up." I sniffled into the hug, and she pulled away. "How about I go make you some good hangover breakfast? I'm sure you have a raging headache." I smiled, "That sounds good." She patted my leg before getting up, "Take some Advil too, that'll help." She went downstairs and I went to the bathroom. I looked just as bad as I had at 4am. I washed my face and downed some Advil before heading downstairs. I didn't have to wait long before Mom had a divine breakfast in front of me. "Eat up." I did just that. "Thanks mom." She gave me a kiss on the head, "I have to go to work, but I'm off all day tomorrow. You gonna be okay here by yourself?" I gave her an unconvincing smile, "Yeah, I'll see you tonight." She pursed her lips, "If you get bad again you call me, and I'll come home." "I'm gonna be fine mom, promise." She didn't look convinced, but she gave me a hug and turned to leave anyway. Once she left, I did the dishes and then went back up to my room. I laid on my bed and opened Netflix on my TV. I put on the Notebook and watched with a blank expression on my face. I wasn't even watching, I was thinking. I needed to apologize to JJ, I shouldn't have hit him, but I don't think he'd want to see me for a while. I didn't know how to handle the rest of the pouges. I know I needed to be honest with Sarah, but I was prepared to leave that for another day too. I eventually thought back to Rafe and let out a sigh. I liked him, despite all the things he'd done I couldn't help but notice our chemistry. I shouldn't feel that way; Pope's right, he's done terrible things, but I really did believe everyone deserved a second chance. Why was I fighting so hard for that? I didn't know. I did know that even if I tried to suppress my feelings, if we hung out again, I couldn't stop them from coming to the surface. Rafe was intoxicating, who knows what I'd do if I was in the moment. It wasn't right to just ghost him though, he would need to know why if I just gave up on him. I decided to leave that for another day too. I turned my attention back to Ryan Gosling's handsome face on my screen. I cried during the rain scene and that's the last thing I remember before falling back asleep. I woke up to the sound of pinging on my window. I threw my pillow over my head and tried to ignore it, but it continued. I rolled over and peaked through the curtains to see Sarah chunking pebbles at my window. I opened the window and couldn't help but give her a small smile. "Oh thank God, my arm was getting tired." She put her hands on her knees for a second before looking back up at me, "Can we talk?" I nodded and went downstairs to open the front door. Sarah had navigated the fence and came back around the front. I closed the door behind us once we were inside. "I was worried about you. You haven't been answering my calls or texts." I let out a sigh, "Right, I honestly just forgot about my phone. I sort of had a meltdown yesterday and threw it somewhere in my room. I'll go charge it later, I'm sorry." Sarah gave me a sad smile, "It's okay, I'm just glad you came to the window." We sat down in the living room, and I waited for her to say something. "I just wanted to get some things straight about you and my brother." I sucked in a breath, "Right. We did go to the marina a few days ago and ate after. I would never do anything to hurt you Sarah and to be honest, I don't know where that's going, or if it is even going anywhere." Sarah nodded, "But do you want it to go somewhere?" I stared at the floor, "It's complicated. I feel like we have chemistry when we're together, but maybe it's the shared trauma bullshit. I don't want to get hurt and I don't want to hurt you. I've already lost the pouges so I can cross that off the list. It feels wrong, but right. I don't know why I'm so stuck on giving him a second chance. Maybe I just see the potential of how he could be." Sarah looked at her hands, "I'm sorry about the pouges and JJ yesterday. That got way out of hand." I scoffed at that. "I guess I just don't trust my brother, or anyone in my family for that matter. So I'm wary about all of it. I also don't want to lose you; you've been one of my closest friends." I smiled at her, "You won't Sarah, and if you don't want this, just say so. I'm not gonna screw over all my relationships just for Rafe." She was quiet for a bit, "I'm not 100% behind you, but I'm not mad at you either. Just be careful, Rafe hasn't been the best with girls in the past. If something happens, I want you to tell me." I smiled at her, "Thank you Sarah, really." I relaxed a bit, "I'm glad you feel that way, but nothings determined yet for sure. I still need to figure out what to do about the rest of the pouges." I paused, "How's JJ?" "He's okay, I just think he's worried about losing you. He only has us and you're his best friend. It doesn't help that he hates Rafe's guts either. He knows he acted out yesterday, and I know he feels bad." I gave her a tight smile, "Well I don't exactly feel great about yesterday either." "Let me talk with John B. Cleo is cool about it, she's the most sensible of us and she's working on Pope. I think Kie might be jealous, I don't know what her problem is." I sighed at that; I still couldn't believe she was saying she didn't trust me. After all we'd been through? Sarah looked in the kitchen and saw the empty beer, "How have you been?" I followed her gaze and got up to throw it away. "Well, I've been better." Sarah followed me and I could tell she was assessing me. "I thought you didn't drink." I shrugged, "Only occasionally. I wasn't exactly doing the best last night. Not sure if it helped me though." Sarah nodded. "I'm free for a few hours. Let's go up to your room and watch something." I smiled genuinely at that, and she gave me a big hug. I grabbed some snacks, and we headed up to my room. Sarah began to look for my found and she found it in a corner, "Yep, dead. Where's your charger?" I pointed to the nightstand, and she plugged it in for me. We decided to watch Clueless, and I snuggled into Sarah as she played with my hair. "It's all gonna work out, Lily. I promise." Once we finished the movie, Sarah suggested we make cookies and I finally started to feel like myself again. They were divine and I sent her home with some. She told me she'd try to talk to the pouges again and see if Cleo would help her smooth out some things. She also made me promise that if I got bad again, I would call her. I think it scared her to know I had a panic attack alone, and I used alcohol to cope. I had only had a panic attack once in front of the pouges and Sarah and JJ were the ones who helped me the most. It warmed my heart to know that she cared, and we were okay. I went upstairs to finally look at my phone. It took a while to power it on, but I saw 4 missed calls from Sarah along with six texts. Nothing from JJ, which I expected. There was 1 text from Kie asking if she could come over. I swiped that one left. What caught my eyes were 3 texts and 1 missed call from an unknown number.