The birds woke me up this morning
Saw the daylight through the curtains
It reminded me I had lots of dreams as a kid
Lost the memories from my childhood
But the little girl's still here and waiting for me to get better
Never found the courage to tell her I won't ever heal, can't confess how my mind became even more disordered than ever, the lines are blurry and nothing's making sense
I fell into madness quite a long time ago
Recover for what? I'm already wasted
I've hit rock bottom and shattered, never resurfaced
Now I'm broken in pieces all over the floor
Never cried about it
But you could hear my scream and the sound of my head banging against the wall
I'm a mess and I'm so sorry about it
I've lost the control i was striving for
I've been delusional my whole life
Thought I would become someone great
Became an egotistical, self-centered and narcissistic bitch
But it doesn't matter
I ruined everything and danced through the chaos, destroyed myself until I couldn't recognize the girl in the mirror
And her manic laugh, and her unhinged sight
Thought I was at my happiest
I nearly died a couple times, I'm i'm still here
doing my best everyday to look sane
People think i'm smart, funny and kind
They don't know how mad I am
They don't know how bad I am
They don't know how sad I am
Been sobbing in my bed all day long
Curtains closed, messy room, screaming alone in my bedroom
It hurts
It fucking hurts.
YOU ARE READING
cold light through the curtains
Poetryone day, the light through the curtains won't be cold anymore and everything will be quieter. - random thoughts and poems about healing, trying to find my way through life after years of chaos tw// mentions of depr, sewer slide, ed, csa, sh cold li...
