Turning Tables

12

Javier

I stood for a few seconds before finally being able to lift my hand and knock on Aya's hotel door suite.

"Javier?" Gulat niya akong pinagbuksan.

"Aya. Did I...disturb you?"

"Yes."

I chuckled at how easily she can dismiss me. How the tables have turned.

"Can I please have just a few minutes?"

"Inside?"

"Kahit dito lang sa labas..."

Tumango siya. We are civil but I did not expect her to humor my desperation. She opened the door and went out, letting me see what she is wearing....or lack there of. Her nighties are too thin and too short that I wanted to wrap myself around her.

"Anong meron?" hinuli niya ang mga mata ko.

I just...lost it when I confirmed what it is about her...it was her eyes. Her eyes had me the very first time I saw her. I should have known that I was done for that very second.

Tinapos ng mga mata niya ang kung ano man na paniniwala ko noon. At ngayon...ano ba ang dapat kong paniwalaan at sundin? There was a tug of war inside me.

I opened my mouth to say something...anything but I was lost for words when she held my eyes.

"I...I..."

"You what?"

"I've been...missing you. It's maddening." Those words had somehow expelled a bit of the heaviness that I am feeling. Oh how easy it sounded...yet so hard to admit.

She looked at me appalled.

"Bago 'yan ah...you're just horny." She crossed her arms. "Maraming babae kanina sa birthday ni Viktor. At libre ngayon ang Wonderland. It's like an eat all you can for someone who's...always hungry. 'Wag na ako, Señor."

"I don't want anyone else." I hissed.

"You mean you just want me? Should I be flattered? Ano nanaman ito, Javier? Can you please...for a longer period of time not be selfish?"

I clenched my jaw and stepped back a bit.

"Aya...this...is all foreign to me." I admitted.

"Being horny?"

I chuckled dryly.

"Letting myself feel everything."

"Oh."

"Yes. Oh....I... Can...can we talk more? In the coming days...I....missed talking to you."

"Well look at you saying things out of desperation. I'm not your shrink or a rock that you can whisper your secrets to, Javier."

"I know...but..."

"Hindi..no buts...Hindi pa ako nakakamove on sa'yo. Stay away a bit longer, kung pwede lang."

I did not like the sound of that. Her determination to do it makes me uneasy.

"I..."

"Don't apologize. But please...tama na. This is so unfair of you...nakakasakit ka nanaman sa ginagawa mong ito."

She crossed her arms and looked elsewhere. I hated that she is not looking at me anymore.

"I'm...not. I never wanted to hurt you."

"Really now." She scoffed then eyed me accusingly. "You're the worst, you know that right?"

Something in my chest churned.