Turning Tables

20

Aya

"How, why and when do I love Javier? Let me count the ways...

I love him at his most vulnerable; I love him at his most condescending.

I love him when he's at lost for words...I love him when he looks at me and it speaks volumes.

I love him riled up, I love him calm.

I love him like he loves his privacy, I love him like I had never loved another.

I love....his magnificent penis..."

I giggled frustrated. Napailing ako sa kawalan. Sadaharu barked as if waiting for me to continue. Pero naubos na ang vocabulary ko. I was never the poetic kind kaya ang hirap nitong naisip kong pagsusulat ng tula para kay Javier.

I just...wanted to write something for him, at isa lang naman ang familiar na tula na naalala ko kaya I somehow used Sonnet 43 as an inspiration. He has been busy lately, fixing things alongside his brothers, getting Clifford to The Circle, giving grants through Magis Dinero while keeping his post as a GP. He's exhausted most of the time and I want to make him feel better.

Wala rin namang okasyon ngayong araw pero gusto ko talaga itong tapusin bago siya makauwi. I will prepare some sushi and sashimi and pair it with a bottle of sake from Papa for our dinner. I planned on massaging him later as well as I recite the poem that I am trying to finish.

My husband is a softie when it comes to me and I wanted to always take care of him, listen to him and just...be there for him. Though in public ay iba naman ang façade niya, which I love, him always in charge and holding me like I am the most precious fragile thing. Gustong gusto ko rin kapag tinititigan niya ako. I just melt...he makes me melt..and wet...and creamed most of the time. At alam na alam niya na ang mga tells ko. He's an animal and I always crave for him to subjugate me. I would always surrender to him, let him ravish me, let him take my power...let him have all of me.

Sadaharu barked, making me close my legs. I sighed and dropped my pen on the notepad. I decided to walk it off sa undeveloped garden ng bahay namin. Maaga pa naman, I think it's just past 2 in the afternoon, Javier is usually home by 7 so I have more time to think of words aside from his magnificent penis.

I took my wayferers and sunhat at isinuot na ang gloves. Marami pang weeds 'yung lupa at gusto ko na talaga iyong malinisan dahil marami akong gustong itanim. It is an open garden at malawak ito kaya naglambing ako kay Javier na lagyan namin ng baby coconut and mango tree, though I am unsure kung saan pa noon bibili at paano namin ilalagay.

Our location is in the heart of the city and I wanted us to have a relaxing place in our home. Gusto ko ring may mapipitas na coconut or mangga in the coming years or so...

"Ā, nanto..." I giggled to myself. I never thought that I would be this domestic. Ewan ko ba...

The last few months has been very life altering sa pagitan naming dalawa ni Javier. After Dante and Papa's meet-up, Javier and I fell in a whole new routine, it was not even a routine dahil hanggang ngayon ay nangangapa pa kami. We're both working still, wala naman akong balak umalis sa Agency and Javier said that he won't ever let me leave something that I love, which is sweet. Siya naman ay minamadali ng matapos ang mga bagay na mas magpapahila sa oras niya palayo sa akin, his words, not mine. I said to take his time but he was a man on a mission.

We both agreed to do some RnR off the country for our honeymoon once our garden is done. Hindi namin minamadali ang pag-aayos ng buong bahay, for we thought that our home is a metaphor for our relationship, it will take time. Houses are built, but our home for us should be our place of comfort and calm, so we will take our time norushing it.