Is It Hate OR Love? Jodha Akbar

Chapter 8

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Thinking about the way he had treated Jodha engulfed him with guilt and an unexplained feeling of anger. Jalal himself was puzzled with his own emotions. Why is he feeling her grief? He should be feeling content with his conquest, but instead, why is my heart feeling stung? Why does her defenseless condition make me vulnerable? I don't have a heart, then why am I feeling the unbearable suffocating pain? Every time I have hurt her, I have felt miserable. She is fetching out the emotion which I have never sensed. No matter what, she is pulling, even though she hates me, I desire her. Her truth, her innocence, and purity always upset me. Her bitter words ignite a bright light inside my dark heart.

Even though she defied me at every step, she pulled me even further closer to her instead of hatred. I admire her purity; she is the only person who is not frightened of me. Today, she didn't even argue or said a single word, but her silence was so powerful and threatening. Instead of her, I kneeled at her divine purity today.

She gave her dignity to save her parent's respect. Her faith in God is so divine. She is so untainted and celestially pure, and I am so contrary to her. I am so devious, and she is so divine. Why do I hate her, and for what? Just because she told me that she has killed Mughal soldiers and wanted to kill me, I punished her so brutally that I ruined her entire life. Poor her, when she told me all this, she didn't even know that she was talking to me, Jalaluddin, The Mughal King himself, what is so wrong about loving your own land? Even today, I hate Rajvanshi. I captured her and gave immense pain; she has no one in this palace.

When I met her for the first time, she was fierce, happy, proud, full of life, and blameless. What have I done to her? I have taken away her smile; I have not seen even a small smile on her face since our marriage, her beautiful, innocent smile has vanished, she looks so pale, today she followed everything like a puppet, without a single fight, little by little I am killing her from inside.

Oh god, why am I thinking about her so much? Why is she so important to me? Why did her rejection hurt me so much? I feel like she has captured me in her divine spell. When she is near me, I sense my heart exists, I feel peace, but at the same time, her disregard blisters me inside out.

His thinking was now slowly slaughtering him. He had never experienced these emotions before, unknowingly; his dead heart was melting for Jodha.

Finally, he concluded and decided that he will not hurt her anymore and give her the respect she deserves. He will accept her as a Special Queen, and if she wants to go back to Amer, he will release her from his capture.

In Maham Anga's Chamber

Adham screamed at Maham loudly, "You do not love your own son. How could you support Jalal instead of me all the time?"

Maham retorted back exasperatedly, "When you will learn politics? Stop behaving like a brainless child? Conquering a sultanate is not a child's game; when will you understand me and my intentions? I hate Queen Jodha to the extreme; she doesn't deserve to be a Mughal Queen; she should be less than a concubine. I will teach her a big lesson and soon send her back to Amer forever. But till then, you need to have patience."

Adham nodded at her annoyingly and walked out of her chamber briskly.

In Jodha's Chamber

Early in the morning, Hamida banoo, Mariam Makhani, decided to visit Queen Jodha since she was out of the palace for about three weeks on some political work. After coming back, she heard how poorly Jalal treated Jodha. She knew Jalal and Jodha had not consumed their relationship yet, they didn't accept each other as a husband, wife, but deep down, she had hopes that one day Queen Jodha will change his cruel son and will teach him humanity.