Is It Hate OR Love? Jodha Akbar

Chapter 30

Chapter 30:

Jalal's state of mind

Why did I get upset with Jodha? Don't I doubt Badi Ammi?

Then, Why am I disappointed when Jodha questioned? She has a valid reason to doubt Badi Ammi. I also suspected Badi Ammi, not once but many times. However, I never found any concrete evidence or proof against her. I tried to discover who had conspired against Jodha. Who wrote that letter to Sujamal, her brother??? In that instance, my first suspected Badi Ammi. She is the one who receives all the messages first, but the letter handwriting didn't match with Badi Ammi's; someone else wrote that letter. It was odd how suddenly, all of the gatemen disappeared then died before anyone could get to them. Whoever did this conspiracy cleaned all the evidence very cleverly. In the middle of the night, Badi Ammi informed me about Jodha leaving the palace and how she poisoned my mind against Jodha and reacted too harshly. I have not forgotten that, but I can't blame Badi Ammi for such a big conspiracy without any substantial evidence.

I had also inquired about the night when I passed out; I didn't want you to worry about it, so I kept it to myself. I have mistrust not only Badi Ammi but Rukaiya as well. My first suspicion was on Rukaiya because she was the one who challenged you, but a few days later, when I asked her about the night. I realized she was also shocked about me passing out suddenly. She even called the healer to make sure I was well. I summoned the healer (Hakim) to inquire further as, why abruptly I passed out. The healer smelled a potent sleeping herb in my breath. The healer mentioned the same type of drug used when someone in extreme pain. When she disclosed, Vajire Aliya requested that drug the same day. I instantly went to Badi Ammi to inquire why she needed that medicine. Without flinching a bit, she took me to the dungeon and proved that she gave the drug to an injured prisoner who was beaten ruthlessly by Adham. She again proved innocent, but I still suspect her because she is no mercy for prisoners.

My mind has doubted her intentions serval incidents. Just because of her position and power ambitions, I know she has committed some unforgivable crimes. I had a strong suspicion about her when Khan baba got murdered. First, she played with my mind politically and created a massive rift between me and Behram Khan baba. I broke his heart and trust in me by pulling my sword against him. He instantly backed down and decided to walk out of my life even after I pleaded with him not to leave me. She indirectly slowly poisoned my mind by pointing out he was the one who was ruling the entire sultanate, and my young blood strived for freedom from him. I was played and manipulated, I didn't understand that time, but I can see what happened in the past. I knew there was a big conspiracy behind his death, but again no evidence and her love dominated me. To hide Adham's crimes and mistakes, she has played many games. I have ignored all of them. My mind always warned me of her witty and sometimes evil intentions. Even today, in Diwan E Khas, I saw her expression; she was upset and angry with the announcement. When I met her today, she completely changed her attitude. She can be a sweet & cruel person at the same time. I know very well, she hates Hindu people and specially Jodha. Though he was persistent in his trust for her, it got thinned given the situation.

Queen Jodha, I know you are not wrong, but my heart doesn't like anyone else condemning Badi Ammi. Deep down in my heart, I believe that she will not betray my trust, and she will never hurt me. She can manipulate me to gain more power, but I am sure her heart beats for me. She loves me more than her own son. Her sacrifices for me are much more valuable in my life than these doubts. She will always stand by me whenever I need her.

He always consoled his restless heart, dwell on that Badi Ammi loves him and will never betray him.

Jodha's Inner talk

Jodha was shocked by Jalal's behavior. She never thought Jalal would compare Hamida begum with Maham, and He loved Maham more. She realized that she has unintentionally hurt him deeply. She accused the person who he respects the most. Is my thinking about Maham wrong? Am I wrong? Why I always feel that she has evil intentions? Is it because she doesn't like me? Have I just built up the false image of her in my mind? Maybe Shahenshah is right; I shouldn't have accused her without factual proof.