M Is For...

Chapter 13

Gizem's POV

It's all happening so fast. "Tom..." I say in between kisses. "Tell me to stop, and I'll stop." He pulls away for a second, looks me in my eyes and I pull him back in. Everything is blurry. "Wait." I break the kiss and then it hits me. This wave of guilt and confusion... It's too much. "I have to go. I'm sorry." I storm out. I slam the door shut and realise I just ran out of my own dorm. After a bit of pacing around in the common room, I decide I need to get some air so I head back up to the astronomy tower. As I walk up the stairs I notice Blaise is still up here, smoking a joint. "Hey, mind if I join you?" I sit down next to him and he offers me a drag. I take a hit and hand it back to him. "I thought you were tired? What happened?" He asks me, genuinely concerned. I guess I'm not that good at hiding my feelings.

There is something about Blaise that makes you instantly trust him. "Tom and I... We kissed." I put my head down as I fidget with the sleeve of my sweater. Tom's sweater. I take a deep breath. "So what? Aren't you two dating?" He frowns at me. "What is wrong with all of you? Can't two people just be friends? Why does everyone assume we're together?" I burst out. "Okay, I'm sorry. Y/N just said that-" "Ugh! Y/N again! Why is everyone so obsessed with her? And why is she going around, talking about things that aren't any of her business?" Once I start, it's hard to stop. I guess this is why I got expelled. Blaise offers me another drag. "Look, I get it." He finishes off his blunt. "I don't think you do." I scoff. "You're scared Tom is still in love with Y/N, and you don't want to be used as a 'rebound'. Am I right?" Blaise looks over at me with raised eyebrows. I sigh heavily. "D*mn, you're good." I chuckle. "I really like Tom, you know. And if we're only ever going to be friends, then... I'm fine with that. I guess."

Tom's POV

That's the second girl to go running after kissing me. What the hell is wrong with me? I try to calm down for a few minutes before I go looking for her. She's probably at the astronomy tower, so I head back up there. I can hear chattering coming from the top of the tower so I stop and listen before going up there. It's Blaise and Gizem. I overhear some of what she's saying.

She... likes me? Then why did she run out of the room like that? Right as I want to go confront her, Blaise starts talking. "I was the first one to know that Tom loved Y/N. Maybe he still does, I honestly don't know. But what I do know is that he definitely likes you. And that is not usual for him, at all. Like, Tom is basically a sociopath." I roll my eyes as Blaise is talking sh*t about me. "See, you keep talking about 'love'. He can't LOVE one girl, one day. And then move over to the next, just like that." Gizem says in response. "You're right. Not even a sociopath like Tom could do that." I hear her chuckle. Merlin, I love her little chuckles. *I hate myself.* "So, what do I do?" She asks Blaise. I can hear how desperate she sounds. "I can't tell you what to do. But I can give you advice. Don't do anything until you're sure Tom doesn't have feelings for Y/N anymore. You deserve better than that." Blaise tells her and I sigh. She really does. She deserves better than me.

"Thank you, Blaise. This was nice." I carefully take a few more steps so I can see them. She hugs Blaise and then turns around. "I should head back. Ugh. I do not want to have a talk with Tom about this right now. Maybe he's asleep already." She says and I know exactly what to do next.

Gizem's POV

I walk back to my dorm after my talk with Blaise. It was a nice talk, but I still feel like I'm stuck. Stuck between the guy I like, and the girl who will always be his first love. I take a deep breath before opening my door and walking in silently. Tom is sound asleep in my bed so I carefully crawl in next to him. "Goodnight, Tom. I'm sorry about earlier." I whisper to him and gently place a kiss on his forehead before lying down and going to sleep as well.