LOST IN EDEN

A SLIENT POETRY

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

I closed the door to my dorm room and leaned against it, feeling the familiar, eternal pain seeping into my bones. My body ached with a weariness that seemed to have no end. The urge to escape clawed at my mind, a desperate need to find some semblance of peace.

I peeled off my jumper and clothes, wincing as the fabric brushed against fresh, angry marks running down my legs. They stung to the touch, a painful reminder that whatever resided within me was still very much present. I examined them closely, noticing the raw, inflamed lines that marred my pale skin. I covered them with thin tights, hiding the evidence of my torment before slipping into a pleated black skirt and a deep carmine Ralph Lauren v-neck sweater, layered over a crisp white shirt.

Sitting at my vanity, I picked up my angel brush to tame my hair. But when I looked up, the reflection staring back was unrecognizable. My eyes were sunken in, dark hollows framing them, giving me the appearance of something less than human, more like a wraith. A chill ran down my spine as I felt a presence behind me. I turned sharply, but the room was empty. When I looked back into the mirror, a man's face emerged in the glass. Barely visible, his features were obscured but unmistakable, with an unsettling, malevolent smile twisting his lips. He wore an all-black suit, blending into the shadows, exuding an aura of dread and menace.

I reached for my psychosis medicine, my hands shaking as I fumbled with the bottle. I swallowed two pills quickly, my throat constricting around them. These pills had been prescribed after my parents had taken me to the hospital when I told them something was terribly wrong, desperate to make sure they're golden child was stopped talking like a insane person- i mean what would the media think, right? The doctors had diagnosed me with hebephrenic schizophrenia and critical psychosis, dismissing my pleas as delusions. My body burned with anger at the memory, knowing there was no hope for me. Who would believe me?

In a last, desperate attempt to find solace, I had started going to church. But every time I entered, my skin would burn as if I were being scorched from the inside out. The pain was unbearable, and I had stopped going before it could consume me. Now, in a moment of sheer desperation, I began reciting the Lord's Prayer, my voice trembling.

"Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be your name..."

I slipped a black headband on to keep my long hair out of my face, moving quickly to gather my things. Just as I was about to leave, I heard a voice calling my name from the direction of the large window in my room. It was a voice that sounded so familiar.

"Scar?" I whispered, feeling a strange compulsion to move towards the window. I walked slowly, almost in a trance, and opened it. The cool air brushed against my face as I felt an overwhelming urge to jump. It was as if I were no longer conscious of my actions, my leg raising to step onto the windowsill.

Just then, the door burst open, and Elijah's voice shattered the silence.

"Hey—woah, woah, oi! Stop, Eden, what the hell are you doing?" he shouted, confusion and alarm etched on his face.

"oh, fuck me"

I cursed myself out loud, annoyed that I had succumbed to one of the his bad intentions.

"Are you trying to kill yourself?" Elijah questioned, his voice laced with uttermost confusion.

I looked at him plainly, lost for words. How was I supposed to explain this?

"Because that would really suck, y'know, if you are," Elijah added, his usual nonchalance creeping into his tone.

"Oh, don't worry, Eli. I'm not trying to kill myself. I was just getting a better view of the beautiful morning skies and grounds of our school," I said with exaggerated cheer.