I'm gonna make the next few chapters Brendon's point of view.
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I never thought I could feel so broken and so happy at once. How do you walk away from someone who you love? How do you just get over it? I know I fucked up. It's my fault I ruined my relationship with Dallon. Maybe I complained about him too much because Ryan was there and he as willing to listen. Maybe, just maybe, if I had went to Dallon and told him the things that bother me, he might have changed. We could have started over. I hate myself for getting close to Ryan and opening up to him the way I did. I hate that I let myself develop feelings for him.
I know Dallon is hurt and it's my fault. He wouldn't cheat on me. But I cheated on him.
Maybe Ryan was right.
If I truly cared about him and loved him, I wouldn't have even thought about Ryan as more than a friend. I wouldn't have slept with him.
I'm happy, though. Ryan makes me happy. He likes to do things with me and he likes to cuddle and do all the stuff couples do. All of the things Dallon stopped doing. I can't help but feel like all I want is the attention. I wasn't getting it from Dallon, so I went to Ryan. And Ryan gave me the attention and so much more and now I have feelings for him. He makes my stomach flip every time I see him or talk to him. Especially when he smiles at me.
"What's on your mind?" Ryan came into the bedroom, a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair wet and sticking up everywhere. I smiled and motioned for him to lay with me.
"Just thinking about stuff." I sighed, scooting closer to him. He hummed and wrapped an arm around me.
"Dallon?" I nodded against his chest. "I'm sorry."
"It's my fault. I shouldn't have cheated on him. I should have just talked to him and told him what was going on. Things could have been different."
"I'm sure he still would have been upset that you have feelings for me." Ryan stated.
"Well, yeah. But I cheated on him. I hurt him. He would never do something like that to me. And I probably gave him trust issues. Now whatever relationship he ends up in, he'll never be able to trust them."
"It's not your fault, Bren. You can't help the way you feel." He's acting as if I've done nothing wrong. I've done everything wrong. Falling for someone else while I'm in a relationship. Cheating on my boyfriend.
"You're just being nice." I looked up at him to see him looking down at me.
"Don't worry about it anymore." He smiled. Yeah, right.
"Yeah, I'll try not to."
I leaned up and kissed him, smiling the entire time.
-
I got a call from Dallon, but I didn't get to my phone in time. He left a message saying he wanted to meet up and talk about things. I texted him and agreed to meet up, but it had to be in a public place, just in case he's drunk again. Ryan's got meetings all day and I haven't seen him since he left this morning.
Penny and I went for a quick walk and now she's passed out under the coffee table. I showered and got ready to go see Dallon.
He told me to meet him at the cafe, so that's where I'm headed. I can't think of anything to say to him, other than I'm truly sorry and I wish I could take it back. His car was parked out front when I got there and I parked behind it and hesitantly walked inside.
Dallon is sitting in a booth at the back of the cafe. I slowly made my way over and stood next to the table before he noticed me.
"Hey," he said quietly. "you can sit down."
