I KNOW, IT'S BEEN LIKE A MILLION GODDAMN YEARS SINCE I'VE UPDATED!
I just had some things to take care of and then I got caught up in reading The Heart Rate of a Mouse and holy fucking shit, I can't stop reading it. CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVEN'T ALREADY READ IT! What's wrong with me?
Anywho, here's an update for all of you readers out there. Hope it's not too bad.
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Things with Ryan and I have been amazing. Perfect. Happy and loving.
I've been walking around with a smile glued to my face every day since he said he loved me, but I can't help it. He loves me. I don't know why I feel like him saying those words to me is like having the world in my hands. I never felt this way when Dallon said he loved me. Not event he first time. I only smiled from ear to ear and said it back.
But this, this feels different. It's like a piece of my heart that I had no idea was missing is now back where it's supposed to be, stitched and healed.
Who knew someone could mean so much to you when you've not even known them for very long?
Spencer and I are at the bar, just having a few drinks and catching up, since I've been spending most of my time working on a project that's got Ryan so hyped up about and, you know. Other things.
"How are things with you and lover boy?" Spencer said with a grin. I felt my cheeks heat up.
"Good," I smiled. "great, actually. He's so fucking perfect, I wish I could have met him a long time ago."
"Yeah, well, you've got him now. So, that's better than nothing, right?" I nodded and finished the rest of my beer, raising a hand to the bartender for another.
"When are you going to find someone?" I asked, looking down at my hands, then up at Spencer. He sipped his beer and licked the residue off of his lips.
"Eh, I don't know. I'm not really relationship material," he laughs. "but I'm sure I'll come across my knight in shining armor like you did."
"Hey, I didn't come across him. He came across me. He'd been keeping an eye on me for a fucking month and I had no idea." Spencer laughed and I smiled. "Hey! Maybe there's someone watching you, too."
"Oh please. Like anyone would be interested in my boring life. Come on now."
"It's possible," I shrug, because it is. It could happen. Happened to me. I smile at the thought of Ryan admiring me, his words, not mine. "you'll find love soon, Spence. You -"
"Just who I wanted to see!" A voice says from behind me. I almost freeze, staring at Spencer with my mouth slightly hung open. "Where's lover boy? Huh, Bren?"
I turn around, seeing him for the first time since I left. He looks like hell, his hair a mess and bags under his eyes.
Dallon is completely fucking wasted and has a mocking, pissed off grin on his lips.
"Could you not?" I ask almost angrily. I know he's going to pick a fight with me. He's drunk and pissed off at me because I chose Ryan over him.
"Could I not what?" He asked, eyebrows coming together. "I can't talk to my lovely ex fucking boyfriend who left me for some fucking hot shot billionaire?"
"Could you not make a scene?"
"I'm making a scene?" His voice was growing louder and his smile was widening. "I'm sorry! Is this better!?" He yelled. I glanced around the bar to see the few people that were here staring at us.
