Lazarus Peirsaly

10. I Want to Love

I awaken to the arms of Hiev wrapped around me, pulled closely to her body. So she wasn't lying about needing to hug something after all. Or perhaps she just wanted a hug today. For being so bruised and skinny, she's surprisingly strong, it's hard to get out. Could this be rigor mortis? No, I feel her breath on my neck, she's still alive.

With careful movements, I slip my way out of her grip and sit on the edge of the bed. My back is cold from her body pressing against it, and the rest of my body is warm from the covers. That's a very bad combo, she could get me sick.

I turn to look at her. She looks peaceful. Suddenly, she starts thrashing and sweating. Maybe a nightmare. I shake her awake. She hurriedly sits up, panting.

"W-where... O-oh, I have awoken in my bed. Thank you for waking me, Ansietria." She smiles as she sees me.

"Had a bad dream?"

"It was my usual nightmare, think nothing of it."

"It isn't exactly good to have frequent nightmares, you know."

"Is it not? They have plagued me ever since I was a child, and you know my lack of socialization, so that is the only sample size I had to go off of."

"What are they of?"

"They are nothing special, simply reliving scenes of torment that I faced in the past and still do. The beatings, solitude, starvation at one point... I have grown accustomed to it all, yet in dreams they cause me to fear them." So much pain inflicted on a gentle person. This world isn't fair.

"You're strong, being able to push through and carry on."

"I am weak because I have accepted this rather than try to change it." 

"Sometimes acceptance is better than change. Everyone would like to change the world, but that's a dream for most."

"You are correct, yet dream we must. To dream is to have a purpose."

"This is an enlightening talk and all, but I think we shouldn't be doing this in our underwear."

"Really? We are both women. Is it not natural for us to be comfortable disrobed alongside each other?"

"Yeah, but I'm getting cold." I shiver a little as the morning air starts to seep into my body. I walk over to my discarded jeans and pull them back on, providing warmth to my legs.

"It is unsanitary to wear the same clothing, Ansietria. Let us wash ourselves."

"I can do that when I get back home. Synlie might be worried."

"Nonsense. A lady should hold herself to higher standards, so you mustn't walk about without getting freshened up. And I can send for someone to inform her of your current circumstances.." So even if she's isolated from the world and treated worse than livestock, she still retains some noble teachings. That's annoying. She writes a note and then leaves it on the table.

"Then where is your bath? You want me to sneak into there? That's dangerous."

"Fret not, all the facilities I use are isolated in fear of me infecting them with any demonic afflictions."

"What even is a demonic affliction? Demons don't come born with contagious viruses. You're not even one to begin with."

"It does not matter if it is truth or lie, I will be feared regardless."

"Well, even if I do wash up, I don't have a chance of clothes."

"Our proportions are similar, we may share the same." The second time I'm going to have to borrow clothing. Just when I got my own too.