Tommyinnit One Shots

Incorrect Quotes But Its Just Bench Trio

Tubbo: Do you think different paints have different tastes?

Tommy: They do.

Ranboo: ... Why did you say that with such certainty?

***
Ranboo: How long do reckon it'll be until Tubbo finally snaps and kills someone?

Tommy: I've been going through life assuming it's already happened at some point and it's just that no one has been able to trace it back to him.

***

Ranboo: If you heard me screaming, would you come running?

Tubbo: Nah, I'd walk.

Ranboo: What?! Why?!

Tubbo: Cause if you're screaming you're not dead yet, and if you're dead there's nothing I can do.

***
Ranboo: 90% of my friendship with Tommy and Tubbo is watching them do something stupid I just told them not to do.

***
Tommy: Are you the person that eats the burger wrapper or not? I quite enjoy the wrapper.

Tubbo: Nah man, I eat the wrapper then the burger.

Ranboo: What???

***
Tommy: I deserve this. This is all because I forgot to feed my pet turtle Sheldon in Kindergarten. He's dead and now my life is bad!

Tommy: YOU HAPPY NOW SHELDON?! WE'RE EVEN NOW!

Tubbo, in the distance: TOMMY?!

Tommy: SHELDON?!

***
Ranboo: I just watched Tommy drop his coffee.

Ranboo: It's been about forty five minutes.

Ranboo: But he's just staring at the ground at the
coffee puddle in silence, tears streaming down his face.

Ranboo: Honestly, at this point I'm too afraid to help.

Tubbo: Lol, send pic.

***
Ranboo: What do I do when I'm mad at Tubbo? I'm never mad at Tubbo.

Tubbo: When Ranboo makes me mad, I look at him through a fork and pretend he's in jail.

***
Tommy: Hey, Ranboo, you're smart. Tell me, what would happen if I chugged three gallons of chloroform?

Ranboo: Have you ever been to a mortuary?

Tommy: Yeah, my brother lives there.

Tubbo: That is literally the worst response to
that question.

***
Tubbo: We have to plan. We have to figure something out.

Tommy: Tubbo, when have any of our plans ever worked? We plan, we get there, all hell breaks loose.

***
Ranboo: We need a distraction.

Tubbo: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises.

Tommy: My time has come.

***
Tommy: If I kill myself, technically the problem would be gone.

Ranboo: Tommy, please.

Tubbo: Lmao mood.

***
Ranboo: Oh boy.

Ranboo: Ever spill a little bit of your drink and realize the thread you're hanging on by is actually pretty thin?

***
Tommy: *Holding a bag of peanuts*

Ranboo: Tommy, why do you have that? You know you're allergic to those.