The Days Of Kelsea's

(43) Demi - Outburst

Demi - Outburst

Eileen, Mark and I have sort of formed a unit after that terrible Art lesson. They still have their own friends, and we don't 'hang out' like normal friendship groups as they are each part of different circles of friends. But they walk with me to lessons we share, sit with me in the Art room as I reconstruct my piece that was ruined and they get on with their own work. They come and sit with me in the common room when I'm alone reading and re-reading chapters of Kelsea's diary.

Rhiannon hasn't spoken to me or even looked at me since I punched her, and I'm glad. I don't want for awkward apologies or challenging snarls or scowls in the corridor. Her friends are terrified of me, and it makes me laugh as I walk past them. That just makes their looks of terror intensify.

And then there is Wes. It is four days after I was at his house, in his arms. Since he told me twice that he loved me all in the space of thirty seconds. I couldn't bring myself to say it back, but my insides ached with the feeling.

I've never been in love before. I wish Kelsea were here so I could ask her how she knew, with Kale.

We both kept a boy from eachother - how mental is that? And she started seeing Kale just after I started seeing Wes. But our situations were different. I thought mine and Wes's situation was a no strings attached, friends with benefits set up. And she . . . Never explained in her diary why she didn't tell me. But I've not even questioned it. I'm not angry. Sometimes when I am reading Kelsea's diary, I feel as though I'm just reading a story book.

Wes keeps his distance at school, but his gaze from across the room just makes me feel like he is all over me. I lie awake at night thinking about him when I should be thinking about Kelsea, about trying to solve this mystery.

I told him to wait. I told him I don't know what I'm feeling. But I think I do, and I'm just scared of commitment.

At lunch time, Eileen and Mark sit with me. I was scared at first that the only reason why they've been talking to me is because they feel sorry for me, but one day Mark said these exact words;

"You've got a fire inside of you, Demi. You're a bit crazy, but crazy is good."

Somehow it made me feel better.

Today, Mark is trying to educate Eileen and I on the music he is into - heavy metal. Already I've learnt that there are different genres of Metal - not just Heavy. My eardrums are being blown up as he plays me some raging song through his headphones which Eileen and I are sharing when I see a hand with black painted nails smack a newspaper down on the table in front of me.

I look up to see Rhiannon Murphy smirking down at me. I knew she wasn't exactly scared like her friends after the fight, but she had been avoiding me definitely. I hope I don't look as surprised as I feel.

"Just thought you might want to see this." She glares at me before placing her hands on her hips, nodding to the paper. "Read it, bitch."

I pull Mark's earbud out of my ear glance down at the page taken from the local observer. It's not the front page, but it's Kelsea. Someone has found a school photo of her from last year and blown it up so it covers half the page. She smiles up at me with a small curve to her mouth and a bright gleam to her eyes, her auburn hair in a side plait.

MISSING SCHOOL GIRL

Kelsea Richardson, 18, who attends Wardal Sixth Form College has been reported missing. The student was last seen near her home on the 28th of February. Yesterday she was reported missing to the police by an anonymous person, who admitted they were already aware of the disappearance as her best friend had reported it on March 3rd however they did not look into it deeply. However, now the police are beginning a more serious investigation, and ask for any witnesses or people with information to come forward and report anything they know to the police station. They do not believe anyone else is linked to this disappearance. "Ms Richardson probably wanted to disappear," Chief Constable Myers said this morning. "We are not treating this as a murder or kidnap investigation, however we believe there is the likely possibility of suicide."