desolation - an ellie williams fanfic

9 - have to hate her

✧*̥˚ 9 - have to hate her *̥˚✧

Natalie's POV

The days were blending together.

I had been holed up in my borrowed home for almost two weeks. After seeing Ellie, I couldn't face the people in town, least of all her. Nightmares tormented me every night, filled with visions of bloodied Firefly bodies and flashes of her face. Joel, whom I hadn't yet met, loomed in the shadows of the hospital halls, a dark and terrifying presence in my nightmares.

I knew I wasn't doing much to win the community's trust, but I needed time to wallow before venturing back into public. I needed to adjust, and Tommy and Maria seemed to understand. They hadn't visited but left supplies and clothes on the doorstep, knocking and walking away, respecting my need for solitude.

The first time Tommy brought over food and soap, there was a neatly folded note on top of the supplies.

Natalie,

I'm sorry for introducing you to the town too early. I was drinking and didn't consider how nerve-racking that must have been for you in that moment. Take your time, when you're ready we will get you started for patrol training with my niece, if you're still interested in that.

Come to me or Maria if you need anything,

–Tommy

I remember feeling sad as I read the letter. I knew Tommy was a good person, and I didn't hold anything against him for introducing me to people. I had simply forgotten how frightening human interaction could be after spending so much time alone, with only Luna for company.

Thinking of Luna brought on a pang of sadness, and I wondered if I should go see her. She was probably horrified at being in a stable with other horses, and other people for that matter, especially considering the last humans she encountered had wanted to eat her.

I decided it was time to end my sulking and leave the safety of the house. I showered and dressed in a black pullover and dark gray pants. I fixed my hair, putting it half up and letting my outgrown baby hairs lightly frame my face. Maria had brought over some jewelry options—some of which were far too gaudy. But I found a pair of small hoops and a delicate chain necklace, and smiled softly as I put them on. This was a taste of how things used to be: jewelry, clean clothes, showers, food on the table. Even amid my sadness, I felt a sense of relief. I hadn't lived this comfortably in a long time.

I wanted to be presentable after my breakdown at the Tipsy Bison. I needed to show the townspeople that I was strong and capable of staying here. I removed the old, rusted studs I'd been wearing for far too long and quickly cleaned my ears, replacing them with the clean, small hoops. I also decided to wear one of the rings Maria had brought, slipping it onto my finger.