"So, inaamin mo na rin na bading ka?"
I shrugged my shoulders.
"Basta aaminin ko na gusto ko siya." I finally get to say with ease.
All these months of confusion, of questioning and searching, had finally resolved into one crystal-clear answer.
Gusto ko siya.
I liked her with every fiber of my being. I could feel the relief as the burden of doubt finally lifted off my shoulders like a thick robe. I was certain that this was it, that this connection was something special.
I examined my reflection in the vanity mirror. I looked at a youthful face with features that suggested a combination of naivete and innocence outside of those eyes. Despite the fact that some of my classmates think I'm attractive, I would characterize myself as ordinary and still struggle with embracing who I am. My eyes are what I think make me special. Even though they are a beautiful shade of dark chocolate, my eyes turn into liquid amber pools when sunlight hits them.
I smiled remembering Sofia telling me those words. Ngayon ko lang rin napansin kung anong tunay na kulay talaga ng mga mata ko.
My eyes are said to be highly expressive. That my eyes seem to carry a bit of my soul within their captivating depths, and they transmit a spectrum of emotions, from warmth and kindness to intensity and resolve. They stand out due to their distinct attraction and expressiveness.
I do have delicate features and sharp edges. My high cheekbones, accentuated by a voluminous strand of hair that ends somewhat over my eyes. I focused on my nose's gentle slope, my lips' fullness, and the arch of my eyebrows, which all worked in perfect harmony to produce a face that was both distinctive and alluring.
"What now?" I caught Aries by the vanity mirror.
"Anong what now?" kumunot ang aking noo.
"Confess?"
I let my hair tie fall loose, letting my waves of curls tumble down around it. My fingers run lightly through my hair, parting the strands and giving my face's wavy locks a gentle texture.
"No."
Her brow furrowed slightly and her eyes scanning my face for any flicker of doubt or uncertainty.
"Hindi ko pa nga alam kung gusto niya ako eh. Or kung I don't know? Bading ba siya?"
I had no intentions on confessing from someone with uncertainty. I had to make sure they feel the same thing so I wouldn't be left stupid and also not face another embarrassing moment of my life – rejection.
"Gusto mo siya 'di ba?"
Tumango ako.
"Wala ka bang gagawin?"
"If I were to confess, dapat na dapat, sigurado ako sa feelings ko at mas lalong dapat gusto rin niya ako." dagdag ko pa.
I rose from my seat, giving her my neck tie. She sighed and gestured me to come over. Lumapit naman ako sa kanya at tinulungan ako sa neck tie ko.
"Wala namang mali kapag umamin ka." She commented.
Umiling ako. Her fingertips work deftly, expertly adjusting the knot until it's perfectly in place.
"It would be a waste of time confessing to someone and knowing you don't have the chance. It's like taking another step and ending up in a road block."
"Ikaw bahala. Buhay mo naman 'yan. But now that you know to yourself you liked a girl... How do you feel?"
Her hands smooth down the fabric, it glided through my collar fixing it.
"It feels nice."
I paused.
