I'm Just a Loser: A BigBang Fanfiction

Preparations

"Do you have any idea how excited I am Bree?" Ha Neul asks me as we walk in to, yet another bridal store. We had been searching all morning before work, half days were nice.
"You have been telling me that for the past week Ha, I know." I laugh at her as she scurries behind me, already pulling dresses off the rack.
"Hello," an older, stout woman walks up to us, her lips pursed and her glasses at the tip of her nose,"how can I help you ladies today?"
"Well, we are-"
"This is Bree, she is getting married in a few months, September to be exact and she is looking for a dress. She is a size 8 but sometimes a 10 and wants something modern, yet breathtaking. The wedding is going to be extravagant so please, don't hesitate with pricing." Ha interjects and I smile after having the words practically taken out of my mouth.
"Alright," the woman nods and takes us to a section of the store toward the back. I sit on a small white chair as the woman rushed off to get measurement tapes and a pad of paper.
"Stand up for me?" She asks after she returned and I do so as she slides the tape down my body, checking my sizing and height.
"What are you looking for?" She smiles, her eyes wrinkling up.
"A drop-waist gown preferably." I return the smile and she walks to the back again, and then comes back with five dresses.
"Try these."the plastic covers crunch underneath the weight of the fabric as she lays them across my arms.
"O-okay," I smile and try on the first dress and quickly take it off, it wasn't it all what I had wanted. The next three weren't any better and I was slowly losing my patience.
"Come on, this is getting no where," Ha rolls her eyes and I saunter back to the dressing room, hoping to have better luck with the last dress.

When I pull the lining off of the dress my eyes light up and I feel an excitement pulse through my veins.
"Oh...my god," I can't believe my eyes when I see it. The lace lays perfectly horizontally and I trace my fingers along the sweetheart neckline.
This was my dream dress and I couldn't believe it was sitting in my arms.
My excitement heightened when I slid it on and buttoned the back, the line tightening along the back of my body.
I stared at my reflection for a long time and tried not to cry. As a little girl I imagined finding my dress with my mother. I didn't want to think of her now, but she seemed to come up in my mind at the worst times, haunting me almost.
"Bree?" I hear Ha come in to the dressing rooms as she opened the curtain to mine.
"Do you like it?" I ask spinning around on the pedestal.
"I-I..." Her eyes widen to an unimaginable size and she blinks three times in disbelief.
"This one is it," I begin to cry tears of joy as she hugs me in an embrace I will never forget .
"You are going to be so gorgeous Bree, I'm so happy for you." She laughs, trying to cover up her obvious emotion and I do the same.
"I love you Ha."
"I love you too Bree."

•••

"How did your shopping go?" Seunghyun asks me as I walk in to work a bit late that Monday afternoon.
"It went amazing." I wrap my hand around his waist as his glides over my shoulders.
"Did you find the dress?"
"Maybe..."
"You are so perfect," he looks at me and I blush and look away, trying to avert my nervous gaze. He still gave me butterflies and I lived for those small moments.
"Well so are you so don't forget that."
"I have to go but I will see you after work," his white teeth sparkle and I kiss his lips quickly before walking off to the office for another day.
Evan and Ha were like the best wedding planners ever. I didn't even have to ask them to do anything and they had already done it. Better yet, it was done perfectly.
"Okay so I called the florist and I have orchids galore on pre-order and-"
"Ha, you don't have to do all of this."
"Listen up you crazy woman, you are getting married in less than 4 months! We have got to get ready."
"Fine..." I sigh and sit down, going through my mental list of things I had to get done by the end of today.
Prepping for a wedding was harder than I thought...
The guys and Seunghyun all went suit shopping while Ha and I were out earlier. I can only imagine what happened at the tux store with all three of them there. I just hoped that I could trust JiYong with his choices, I'm sure there was going to be sparkles and feathers and God knows what else. I just hoped they didn't make it on to the final products...

•••

"Did the suits turn out nice?" I ask from my cross legged position on the couch in the living room.
"Yeah, actually, they are super classy and will match perfectly with the dresses." Seunghyun snakes his long arms around me from behind and I smile at his gentle touch.
"It's going to be an awesome wedding," I kiss his cheek and he laughs,"what?"
"You are just really cute."
"No I'm not."
"Yes you are."
"I hope this lasts," my mind wanders to the thoughts of a marriage that doesn't work, one that is full of fighting and pain.
"Why wouldn't it?"
"I don't know...sometimes people grow apart and I just don't want to grow apart from you," I turn and wrap my arms around his neck pulling him close, my emotions taking over.
"That is how you know we won't."
"What?"
"You just said that you don't want us to grow apart, so now we know we won't. Because you are going to try not to and so am I."
"God I love you Seung," I sigh and he hugs me tightly.
"I love you too Bree and I am the luckiest man alive to have you in my life." His words sink in to my mind and I feel at home in his arms, a feeling I had longed for for too long.
"Have you eaten yet?" I ask him after a long pause.
"No."
"I'll make us dinner," I walk to the small kitchen and he takes a seat at the dining room.
As I chop some vegetables for a salad, he leans his head on his hand and gazes at me from the spot he was sitting at.
"We need a house," he finally says as I scrape off the carrots in to the bowl.
"You think so?" My heart races and I know exactly where this is going.
"I've been looking recently." He smiles and I jump up in excitement.
"Really?" I collect myself as he giggles at my childish reaction.
"I found a few and I thought we could go and look at them-because Bree," he looks at me sincerely, his hand still under his chin,"I want to have a family some day. With you."
"I do too." I swallow and stare down, smiling.
"Imagine little people that were half you and half me. Isn't that kind of crazy?" His knees straighten and he sits up, walking toward me.
"Yeah, it is." I had always wanted a family, and I could have never thought that I would have Seunghyun as a husband. He was utterly perfect, not perfect like you would think because no one could be. He was perfect in ways you could only imagine.
"I know not everything has been the way we thought it would work out, but I just want to thank you for standing by me and trusting me and loving me unconditionally." He smiles at me and I lay my arms over his shoulders, connecting them behind his head.
"You are so cheesy." I kiss him,"but I love it."
"Good," he presses his lips against mine again, this time with more power and I pull away.
"Calm down, I have to make dinner."
He rolls his eyes and I toss the rest of the salad, finding more and more interesting things to put in it.
I was kind of feeling balanced. For once in my life, I felt like my mind, my body, my life wasn't messed up. I had the man of my dreams, my depression and anxiety was lowering, and I felt the most at peace I have ever felt in my entire life.
The way he looked at me still sent shivers down my spine and my skin still lit on fire when he touched it. I loved him with the uttermost of my being and I was so ready to marry him. With all of the awful things we had been through, we managed to find a way to love each other despite our differences and our flaws. I had found real love and I couldn't explain how amazing it made me feel.

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Cute lil ending to this chapter! I cannot believe how much I have written with this story, like woah... So I think that it turned out pretty okay...yeah? I don't even know. Anyways, I am with my cousin this weekend and I am so happy to see her after such a long time being gone. You guys are amazing and I hope you like this short chapter...sorry it was so boring!!!

Xoxo

Livi