I Don't Believe In Forever

10

When Han entered the room, Seungmin felt a wave of despair wash over him, intensifying the conviction that he truly was a lost cause. The comforting presence of Han contrasted sharply with the chaos and guilt that consumed him.

"I see you are feeling a bit better than last night," Han said, his voice soft and probing.

"I guess," Seungmin replied, the words tasting hollow in his mouth.

"Do you wanna tell me what happened?" Han asked, his uncertainty evident.

Seungmin’s mind raced.

He didn’t want to tell the truth—that he had bitten someone, nearly killed them. How could he admit to Han that he had seen Dae again, that he knew him, that the encounter had shattered what little sense of self he had left? The very thought of it made his stomach churn.

No, Han couldn’t know. No one could know. His relation he had with Dae must remain a secret.

If it hadn’t been for Jeongin insisting on washing the blood from his face before bringing him to Han, he probably wouldn’t even be here now.
Seungmin thought Jeongin was foolish for helping him. He didn’t deserve it. But now, at least, he could feel guilty for being a liar instead of a monster.

"I-I was just feeling really guilty for kicking you out and snapping at you," Seungmin said, offering Han a fragment of the truth.

"Aww, little vampire got himself so worked up because of me?" Han’s tone was curious yet skeptical.

"You could say that."

"Are you sure there isn’t something more you wanna talk about?"

Seungmin knew he needed to give Han more to make his story believable. "I-I mean, nothing new, still feeling like a monster."

"Seungminnie, stop talking like that about yourself. You are not a monster."

"I just feel bad," Seungmin mumbled, trying to give away as little as possible.

"I-I don’t want to press you, but I really hope you will let me actually do something to help you this time," Han said gently.

"You already did more than enough."

"Seungmin, you need to understand that you might need some more help than those bags of blood," Han insisted.

"I-I don’t know what you want me to say."

"Just... I talked with the others," Han began, his hesitation clear. "Everyone agreed, okay? So just know you are not burdening anyone."

"Just say what you wanna say," Seungmin replied, his patience wearing thin.

"I want you to move in," Han blurted out.

"W-what?" Seungmin asked, shock evident in his voice.

"Just hear me out, okay?"

"No, Han, this is a terrible idea."

"No, it is not. I think you might need some company. I really think it might help you and I don't really want you to be alone right now." Han murmured the last part.

"I-I..." Seungmin was at a loss for words.

"I already sent Hyunjin and Felix to bring your things here. We have a free room anyway, so you can also have your space even if you’re here with seven other boys."

"Han, this is too much," Seungmin finally managed to say.

"Just try it for a while. If you really don’t want to, you can leave, but promise me you’ll try."