Underneath (Phix)

flames pt 2

Madison's POV

After the bottled ended up empty. I look towards the sky and start talking to myself.

"Why did you have to do this to me god? Why did you have to take my baby girl from me?! Why cant i be happy!!!" Screaming at the sky didn't seem to help at all. 

The pain was starting to become way too much. I just wanted to crawl into a deep void amongst myself and never escape. I don't want to face anyone. I am too ashamed. I am nothing but pathetic. I wasn't strong enough. It pains me on that fact alone. 

Phix never broke down in front of me like that and i didn't realize how much pain I put on him. I do not deserve him, he is such a good man. He has tried to be by my side throughout this loss we have dealt with and its not been an easy journey. But i do know that there is nobody else I would rather go through this with than him. 

For hours i have been screaming my lungs out and crying my heart out to the point my eyes are desert dry and burn so damn bad and my lungs are hurting. I know Phix can hear me and he hasn't tried to come in the room, which bothered me. But i guess i understand that he might have wanted to just give me time to myself. Which i do In fact appreciate.

I get out of bed and head the rooms bathroom to take a shower and clean myself up. I need to get a grip and stop being a pussy. This kind of thing isn't that uncommon and i need to be strong. For me and for Adam. I don't want to lose him. He is all i have. He is probably worried sick about me . As I got dressed in my casual outfit, I only had one thing on my mind. I was a girl on a mission.