Medicine | King Baldwin

47

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." Isabel whispered. As she found a semblance of calm, she rested her head against Baldwin's chest, feeling the security his presence offered.

"You're so brave." He murmured, cradling her face in his hands. "You've endured so much at such a young age, carrying the weight of these terrible memories." He paused, his eyes locking onto hers, a deep sadness in his gaze.

"I know I can't change the past." he continued. "No matter how much I wish I could, I can't erase what happened to you. But I want you to know that I am here for you, now and always. I promise you, with all my heart, that I will stand by your side. And as long as I live, until death do us part, I will never leave you." He said, his words a solemn vow.

"Then.. you won't leave me because of this?" she asked, her voice trembling with confusion and vulnerability. Her hands fumbled to wipe away the drying tears from her cheeks, her eyes searching his eyes for any sign of rejection.

"Of course not." he replied gently. "Nothing you have said or could ever say would make me abandon you. What happened was not your fault, and it does not diminish your worth or my love for you." Baldwin looked at her, his expression softening as he took in her fragile state.

"God chose this path for you. He could have given it to anyone else, but He gave it to you. God did not join our paths together by chance. There is a purpose in our union. My love for you is deeply rooted in the respect and admiration I have for you. I will stand by you always." He cupped her face in his hands, his thumbs gently brushing away the last traces of her tears.

She knew that Baldwin was a man of deep sincerity and that he never indulged in empty words or false promises. His commitment and the warmth in his voice made it clear that his feelings were genuine. She found it difficult to comprehend why, out of all the people in the world, she had been given such an honorable partner by divine will. How could someone so noble and true have been destined to stand by her side, especially when she felt so unworthy.

"Why did this happen to me?" the girl asked.

Her question seemed more of a profound contemplation than an actual plea for answers. Her eyes, still red and swollen from crying, stared into the distance, as if searching for an explanation in the shadows of the chamber.

"These are questions to which no one has answers.." the king said softly. "Only when we stand before God will life gain its full meaning." He gently released her, then took her hand in his. "What I wish for you now is to rest. Please, try to sleep." He asked.

Isabel, complying with the king's request, nodded. She moved to the dressing screen at the side of the room and, with a sigh of relief, began the laborious process of removing the uncomfortable gown she had been wearing.

Once she had managed to slip out of the ornate dress, she quickly donned her more comfortable night gown. The new attire, though simpler, was a welcome relief. It draped softly over her, offering a sense of ease.

Baldwin sat on the edge of the grand bed, waiting patiently as she finished brushing her hair. Once she was ready, she slid beneath the warm, inviting covers. The king, with a gentle and tender touch, carefully tucked the blankets around her, ensuring she was comfortable and secure.

Before he could leave, Isabel reached out for his hand, stopping him in his tracks. Her grip was loose, conveying a silent plea for his presence.

"Thank you." she said, her voice carrying gratitude that transcended mere words. She looked up at him with eyes that still glistened, a fragile smile playing on her lips.

The king nodded slightly, acknowledging her gratitude, before moving to his own chamber.

Once inside, he began the process of shedding the trappings of his royal persona. He removed his white attire, piece by piece, and then his mask, the physical barrier that hid his true face from the world. With each item of clothing he discarded, he also discarded the armor he wore against the expectations and judgments of those around him.

In the solitude of his chamber, Baldwin allowed himself to breathe deeply, free from the scrutinizing eyes of the court, free from the facade he maintained for the sake of his kingdom.

Every night, he looked into the mirror, hoping that one day the reflection staring back at him would become a part of him, something he could accept, maybe even come to love. But despite his nightly ritual, that moment of acceptance had yet to arrive.

The face he saw was a constant reminder of his suffering he bore as both king and a man stricken with illness. The scars, the disfigurements, they were all symbols of his internal and external battles.

The right side of his face was marred with deep scars, a testament to the ravages of leprosy. His nose was partially collapsed, and his mouth bore the unmistakable signs of the disease's relentless progression, with lesions and disfigurement marring what was once a regal visage. His skin, once smooth and fair, was now mottled and rough to the touch.

The left side, however, remained a haunting reminder of his former self, untouched by the disease, with clear skin and a handsome profile that still held the remnants of his former charm.

He longed for a time when the mirror would reflect not just his outer appearance but also the strength and resilience he had cultivated within.

Yet, each night he was met with the same struggle, the same feeling of disconnection between who he was and who he appeared to be.

As he lay in bed, Baldwin's thoughts drifted once again to the life he might have had if he had not been born a king. He imagined himself as a simple countryman, whose greatest worry would be the occasional escape of his livestock. The thought was both comforting and painful, a fleeting glimpse of an ordinary life free from the burdens of royalty and illness.

Guilt gnawed at him for dragging Isabel into his world of complexities. He knew she had been thrust into a life she had not chosen, filled with expectations and hardships she could never have anticipated. Yet, intertwined with this guilt was a profound gratitude. Despite everything, she stood by his side, her love for him pure.

Yet, within his heart, he knew he had to find peace with his path. The love he shared with Isabel was a rare and precious gift, one that gave him the courage to face each day. He prayed for the fortitude to protect his kingdom, but most of all, he prayed for the grace to be the husband she deserved.

"I wish we could run away. Together." Baldwin whispered the words as he gazed out into the moonlit night.

He knew that reality would never allow them such an escape, but the dream of living a simple life, far from politics and war, brought him a moment of peace.

He thought of Isabel, of how much she deserved a happy, peaceful life. The guilt he felt for bringing her into this tumultuous world never fully left him. But the love he had for her softened every hardship and pain.

Yet Baldwin knew these dreams would remain just that—dreams. The reality they had to face was much harsher and more unforgiving. Still, as he continued to gaze at the moonlight, he allowed himself to get lost in this imaginary world where only the two of them existed.

Isabel lay under the covers, absentmindedly fiddling with her fingers. She missed the warmth of Baldwin beside her, the hands that had cradled her in safety. Though only a chamber separated them, the distance felt vast.

She longed for his presence, the silent comfort he provided simply by being near. The physical separation felt like an insurmountable barrier, turning their closeness into an aching void. She turned on her side, staring at the darkened chamber around her. She could almost feel his presence, as if he were just beyond the walls.

Thinking of her as she thought of him.

She felt a sense of relief that she had finally shared the heavy secret she had carried with her. Yet, deep down, she regretted it. Not because she feared that Baldwin might see her differently, but because she had reopened wounds that she had long buried. At least, she had tried to.

The act of revealing her pain had stirred emotions she had worked hard to suppress, dragging to the surface memories she had hoped to forget. The darkness of her past had seemed distant, almost like a faded dream, but now it was vivid once again.

"Lord, please guide our path and do not let us stray from the course You have set for us. Allow us to continue together, as one." She whispered, closing her eyes in earnest prayer.