WANT YOU ALL TO MYSELF

18

SEBASTIAN POV:

I let go of her and watch as she enters her room

I'm hurting her just because I don't know how I'm feeling, fuck

I don't know how I feel, I don't know what I'm feeling towards her.

I'm not the type to be romantic or clingy but I was to her

I don't know if I love her, or like her

But I want her

I mean if i want her that means I like her no?

I want her, i want her to be mines. But I don't know if that's enough for her

I don't know, I've never done this shit, and this feeling I'm feeling towards her I can't explain it fuck

I'm still standing by her room and I don't know if I should atleast tell her how I feel or just leave

Fuck it

I go into the room but she is not in bed i look to the bathroom and she is there

She didn't hear me enter, I don't know what to do but I walk up towards her and she realizes I'm here

She looks at me through the mirror and I see her red eyes from crying

Fuck,

Before she spoke I said "let me tell you how I feel, cause I know if I don't tell you your gonna be distant and I don't want that at all" I say

I walk towards her but she steps back

"Say it right there" she says

"Umm I don't know how to start but I could say I want you all to myself, I don't know if that means i like you or not, I've never felt this way and I'm questioning how I feel too cause I've never felt this way. But I want you, that's what I know, you stopped talking to me and ignored me I felt a strange feeling I wanted you to talk to me and hug me and kiss me I don't know I desperately wanted you to. When you left me on seen I couldn't concentrate I was thinking of you the whole time, I was thinking if I did something wrong. And I know that was fucked up of me of saying that to my sister but I didn't know what to say. I said that so she could stop asking me questions when deep down I knew I didn't feel that way at all, all I know it's i want you, I need you to sleep, I need your hugs your kisses. I need you by my side. I don't know what I'm feeling. But I hate the thought of you being with someone else, I hate when you talk about guys from Tv shows, when I'm around you I feel free and safe and I hope I'm not saying all this shit for you not to feel the same way cause that shit will hurt like a mother fucker" I say looking at her tears coming down her eyes

I take a step forward and she doesn't move, so I take 2 more steps and hold her cheeks as I wipe her tears

"I don't know what I feel, but I explained to you how I feel," I say and hug her.

she doesn't say anything

But then she looks up at me "I feel the same way" she says

And I smile looking down at her "thank god" I say in whisper hugging her

"Does this mean we are in a relationship?" I asked cause i deadass don't know

She laughs "you really are a nooby, I think you have to ask me to be your girlfriend " she says putting her head on my chest

"Alright" I say and pick her up and take her out of her room to mines

"I want to cuddle with you all night" I say

And she laughs "I would like that" she said

"Even if you didn't I woud have done it anyway" I say placing her in bed

"Idiot" she says and I smile and give her s kiss on the cheek

I take off my shirt and hand her my shirt, she immediately puts it on.

I put on some sweatpants and stay shirtless I know she loves my upper body thats why I do it

I lay on top of her holding my weight just admiring her cause she is beautiful

"I'm sorry I made you feel that way princess" I say looking at her in the eyes, till she looked away

I grabbed her jaw "do you forgive me?" I say being serious I don't want to hurt her. I wanted to beat myself up when I saw a tear escape because of me

"Yeah I do" she says

I smile at her and then she grabs my cheeks

"You know you have a beautiful smile" she says

And I get nervous..  I'm getting nervous

I get in the crook of her neck and avoid answering her

"You smell so good" I say placing a kiss on her neck

"Ima go to sleep in tired " she said

"Go to sleep baby, " I say and stay in the crook of her neck cause I love smelling her