Number on me

8. Orion

Max turned around for what felt like the hundred time. Now being able to read the time on the clock in Beth and Viv's guest room, she saw that it was almost three in the morning.

She hated not being able to sleep. It messed with her mind and her performance. She had been tired the whole day, but now, she couldn't feel more awake.

Maxine decided to stop with the tossing, scared she would wake her hosts up with the slight squeak of the bed she was so generously offered. Instead, she got up from her bed. Viv had lent her some sweatpants and an oversized (or normal sized for Viv) shirt to sleep in. She had also put a hoodie down in case Max would get cold, which came in handy now.

Pulling the hoodie, that upon closer inspection turned out to be a Dutch nation team hoodie, over her head, she went to the balcony. She found that she could comfortably sit with her legs dangling over the edge, if she put them through the openings in the fence.

She felt a sense of relief as she looked up to the stars. She drew the constellations in her mind; Orion, Ursa Major and Cassiopeia. She was looking for the next pattern in the night sky, when she heard the balcony door open. She quickly turned around and saw Viv coming to sit next to her.

'I heard you slip out of the room, what's going on?' Viv said, so soft that Max almost didn't hear her.

'Nothing, I'm fine, sorry to wake you Vivi.'

'Maxie, we have been teammates for like three days, and I have heard you say 'I'm fine' more than anyone I know. None of that now, what's really going on?'

That hit home. Max wasn't typically the person to talk about her issues, but she trusted Viv in a way she hadn't really trusted anyone before. Sure, she would trust her sister with her life, but it was different. Fay was carefree, she wouldn't understand. Max got a feeling that Vivianne would understand.

That unfamiliar feeling of safety, combined with the complete lack of sleep that she had gotten these last couple of nights, was too much for the 18 year old. A tear escaped from her eye, a tear that she quickly brushed away.

'I just can't sleep. I'm so tired Viv.' Max sounded like she was going to cry. To be frank, she didn't know if she could keep herself from crying, no matter how hard she tried. She bowed her head, to stop the older girl from seeing her face.

Instead of replying, Viv put her arms around the broken girl, and placed a kiss on her head.

They said like that for a few minutes before the silence was broken again.

'It's okay not to be okay, you know that right?' When Max didn't answer she continued; 'You're young, in a new environment, injured and under a lot of pressure, it's a lot. Everyone would understand if you would not be happy or energized all the time.'

Max cried quietly. She didn't mean to, and she really didn't want to. She hated crying in front of people, even when they were as thoughtful as Viv.

They sat like that for another 15 minutes. Max wasn't able to find the words to answer, and Viv understood.

When the pair finally did go to sleep, Max managed to sneak a couple of hours away from her mind.

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'Morning', Max said enthusiastically.

'someone woke up alright', Beth laughed, while Viv just looked at Maxine with a look that the girl couldn't place. She decided not to be bothered by it.

Max was determined not to make a big deal of what happened last night. It was a short moment of weakness, and if it were up to her, everyone would forget about it. She didn't need her new teammates fussing over her mental or physical health. She needed to look strong and happy, in order to get the opportunity she needed, to make an impact in this team.