Number on me

17. Polaris

Leah sat beside Maxine on the edge of the bed, her hand resting gently on Max's back as she tried to steady her breathing. Maxine's confession still echoed in the silence of the room, her face buried in her hands as she cried softly. Leah stayed close, giving her space yet offering quiet support. "You kissed her, and that's okay," Leah said softly, her voice steady but kind. Maxine shook her head, tears slipping between her fingers. "I don't know what I'm doing, Leah, I'm not supposed to feel like this," she whispered. "Everything feels so confusing." Leah shifted closer, her hand squeezing Max's shoulder. "You don't have to figure it out right now. We'll get through this together. Whatever you're feeling... it's real. And it's yours."

Leah continued, after planting a gentle kiss on Maxine's head, "And I'm so sorry your parents don't make you feel like it's okay. It should be, Max. You should be allowed to feel whatever you're feeling without all this guilt." Maxine wiped her eyes, her voice small as she spoke. "It's just... everything they believe, everything I was raised to believe, it feels like I'm betraying them."

Leah sighed softly, her arm still around Maxine's shoulders. "You're not betraying anyone. You're just figuring out who you are. And that's allowed, even if they don't see it that way. It doesn't make you any less... you. It doesn't make you less worthy of love, or understanding."

Max sniffed, her voice trembling. "But what if they never understand? Or never want to talk to me again?"

Leah squeezed her shoulder, her voice steady but filled with compassion. "That's hard, I know. But what matters most is that you accept yourself. That you let yourself be honest, no matter what anyone else says. You deserve to be happy, Max. You don't need anyone's permission to do that."

Maxine leaned into her, crying softly.

Leah looked down at her, her eyes soft. "And you've got me. You've got the team. You're not alone in this, okay?"

Leah hesitated for a moment before speaking again, her voice gentle. "I know you find it hard to talk about, but you know... you don't have to go through this alone. Maybe it would help if you talked to Beth or Viv about it."

Maxine pulled back slightly, her eyes red and puffy, giving Leah a questioning look. "Beth and Viv?"

Leah nodded, brushing a stray tear from Max's cheek. "They've been through this, too, Max. Finding themselves, figuring out who they are, and dealing with everything that comes with it. They could understand what you're going through better than most, and probably explain more clear then I could."

Maxine bit her lip, uncertainty flickering in her eyes. "I don't know... I don't want to be a burden."

Leah shook her head immediately. "You're not. Trust me, you're not. They're some of the kindest people I know, and they'd never judge you. If anything, they could help you feel less alone in this. It's a lot to carry, and you don't have to keep it all bottled up."

Maxine looked down at her hands, fidgeting with her fingers. "I guess... maybe you're right. But what if they don't get it?"

"They will," Leah said, her tone full of certainty. "They've both been where you are. And they're good people, Max. They'll listen, and they'll help. You just have to take that first step."

Maxine took a shaky breath, nodding slightly. "I'll try."

Leah smiled softly, brushing a hand through Max's hair. "Good. And remember, I'm here with you every step of the way."

------------------------------------

"Sorry, I'll get it," Maxine muttered, her voice tight as the ball sailed past the goal for what felt like the tenth time. She jogged after it, trying to shake off the frustration building inside her. Kyra watched her, arms crossed, brows furrowed.