The lost

2

Liz POV
Nicks fury's death is confirmed, so I'm good. Now it's the question if I go back into cyro freeze or if i stay awake to do different assisinations and or missions to get information HYDRA needs.

Currently I am sitting in my cell, it's completely empty like every other day, like my mind... I like when nothing changes or happens. I don't really think about what will or won't happen. It's a waist of energy I can spend on staying alive.

...but not for long.

Images of people I don't know I get flashes from.

Even from this exact scenario I get almost memories from.

I'm confused.

Is it possible HYDRA hides things from me? It are thing I don't remember but are just.... There.

It are lost memories

Those people are dead. Those people were killed.

I killed those people.

Suddenly get a headache it's getting too much i see numerous images of people begging for their life telling me they have kids and sometimes the kids and wife's are there too.

But without contemplating or remorse I choke, shoot or torture them to death.

Why did I do this? I question my existence.

It's the only thing I hear and see, my breath is hitched. That's when I see and feel two hands grabbing my arms, snapping me back to reality, I don't fight I don't cry,

but I can put a name to what I feel almost always.

I feel lost.to the normal world nobody will expect me.

I'll be lost.

With and without HYDRA I'll be lost. But with HYDRA i stand a better chance for now.

I don't like that my mind is so full of... thoughts and... Life.

They drag me through the hallways while I'm too exhausted to walk from all the flashbacks and screams that are deafening.

I feel almost dead, all the life is drained out of me

I remember the chair again and a lot off other memories. that chair is why I don't remember things.

That's when a switch turns and I'm on survival mode.

"Nein, lass mich GEHEN, NEIN" No let me GO, NO" I scream in German, i try to kick them

"HALT DEINE FRESSE DU FOTZE!" SHUT UP YOU PUSSY" the right soldier screams in my ear giving me a slight ring in my ear, while he is giving me a hard slap across my face, sending my right side too the ground while my left arm and side of my body is being held up by the left soldier, I quickly stand up fully again with wobbly legs and I support fully on the soldiers and walk with them again, a tear escaping my eye, then my mind is blank, numb.

I shut it out.

I won't let them win,

I'm stronger than them that's why they do this,

or else I'm too powerful.

At least that's what I tell myself, deep down knowing it isn't true. But let's just say while I'm in survival mode my ego gets a boost. Something hydra did too.

I don't know how though.

They open a door and I see the chair I sit down in it while a doctor puts restraints on me "Öffne dein Mund, du willst doch nicht deine Zunge abbeißen oder?" open your mouth, you don't want to bite of your tongue right?" He says with a sickening smile. While I do as he says he puts a mouthguard in,

but not before he kisses me on my lips, sick ass. "Hübsches mädchen, vielleicht darf ich dich mall benutzen..." pretty girl, maybe I can use you sometimes..." he says with a lustfull smirk.

He puts the mouth guard in and turns away to the soldiers.

"Starte den prozess" start the process" He tells the guards and leaves the room, the right guard walks over to a lever and pulls it over, at the moment the lever is over a stabbing pain is going through my skull and I hold my blood curling scream in, although after two minutes I can't help it. 2 minutes is a record for me.

I give in, forget everything, it's better like this when you're at HYDRA.

You don't want to remember this.

A/N
Sorry this is a short chapter):