Shattering my Over-used Heart

Tommy's chapter- The day your name didn't make me smile anymore.

I feel every molecule in my body alive with pure violence, while I walk in front of Cole down this hallway, I beg my senses to pick up her scent, to feel her near like I used too, to see any clue to where these fuckers took her, but we've been walking for about forty minutes before Cole coughs behind me and I turn slightly to look over my shoulder, I glance at his hand in his trouser pocket fiddling with something. "What are you thinking?" I ask, turning to face forward again, "The worse" he whispers back, and I close my eyes for a moment to breathe, I know Cole smells emotions and it even influences him a little bit, so I try to level my head, from all the murderous thoughts popping in. "I'm going to the elders, putting lacey under our clans protection" Cole blurts out, his voice unsteady, I'm not surprised because it's one hell of a journey, but it also puts lacey in danger, outing her breed of wolf to the other clans, fully showing our clan holds a myriad wolf. "Is that wise?" I question back softly minding my tone of exasperation. "I think the benefits out way the risks" Cole responds, I huff my reaction and we carry on walking, there's no signal down here but learning this house has been abandoned but its monthly payments paid for by an off shore bank account, thanks to fox he matched the signature that opened the account with the alpha of the Chasity clan, and with fox assuring me that tall, thin creepy man was the alpha, my shoulders and chest tighten about what me and Cole have uncovered, I knew old clans still exists solely on the slave trade, and with support from some elders it's just swept under the rug, bits of information you learn when your dad is woven into the worst of the worst, my throat tightens at the consequence of our actions. "We have to play it safe" I finally breathe out, my fingers flexing and unflexing thinking about how I want to snap every bone in those fuckers body's. "Like we've been doing? That's why Lacey's in this shit, cause we played it safe?" Cole retorts angrily, I feel the rage in my chest erupt as I turn around and quickly pin him to the wall, only for him to push me away, were equally matched in strength and we both don't want to do this right now. "You know what our dads did! they fucked this clan, and I haven't been making deals, and risking my life to screw it all up now!" I bellow out, I keep my teeth clenched and breath out through them, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand and slicking my hair back, I can't lose my temper again, I have to have a clear head. "don't you think I know that?" Cole murmurs back, his voice strained with rage like mine. "This clan, OUR clan was in the drain and we both pulled it out with the connections we made, but we made enough tom, we can protect lacey-" Cole begins, his hair wildly in front of his eyes, I can see the veins on his temples bulge, I take a breath in. "I won't out her Cole, with her known as a myriad you think someone else won't come for her? We're going to have to keep doing what we do, just to keep up protection, when all I want to do is hand this clan off to someone else and stay home where-ever your drafted" I shrug my response and turn to start walking, Cole doesn't follow for a second until I hear his footsteps.

We reach an incline and it becomes dirt, the concrete floor stops, the walls stop, just a mine shaft in front of us, held up by big wooden coal ribs holding this all together, I dig my expensive shoes into the dirt and start the vertical climb, I push the piece of rotting wood out the way and step outside, faced with an abandoned dock, and the ocean, it becomes apparently clear there not even in this country anymore, my phone Bings and buzzes with calls and texts as I regain signal thinking about the decision we made to let her go, and that decision is going to haunt me forever. I shoot off a text to my hackers to looks into docks around this side of the globe for any of treys boats, while I listen to Cole ask for more favours to check every airport, I also send that to my hackers to check every airport, we need all the help we can get. I don't know how long we stand there staring at the waves of the ocean but my mind plays tricks on me, I watch lacey, run across the beach, her bright smile and laugh surrounding me, I picture myself laughing too, I feel like if I could of found her earlier, my life would have been different, it would have been more fun, she pulls me into the ocean until I pick her up and just dive in together, my eyes blankly stare while my imagination runs wild, I have no clue when Cole left, nor how I got back to the casino. I lift the drink to my lips as I sit at the head of this table I can't stand to look at anymore, I'm on my second bottle of strong mythical alcohol and I'm feeling the burn in my throat with every drink, I would of gone straight to my hackers but instead I'm nursing a headache while my parents have started a fight in front of me, my little brother beau sits at my piano to try and practise, poor kids been dragged everywhere just like I was, forever holding my mother's hand while I dive into the dark side of life. "I couldn't give a fuck if it was 5 years ago, you owe me and all I'm asking is if you just look out for her" my dad barks out on the phone, pacing back and forth in my office, my mother is sat biting her nails something I've only seen her do when I was ten and we were on vacation in her home country and my arranged future came up in conversation. "I know what you deal in and keep a fucking eye out, she's 17" my dad sighs out sitting down and leaning his head back on the chair, we sit in silence until beau starts playing, he's rusty but piano isn't really his thing. "Are we really just going to sit here, while that poor girl is being beaten and sold out there?" my mum mumbles out folding her arms across her chest, the pitiful thing is about all of this is, were all still in our outfits from the party. "What would you like to do Cora dear? Drive around and hope she's on a street corner somewhere?" my dad sarcastically replies, I down the last glass as my jaw ticks at picturing lacey in any sort of trouble, my mum looks over me, maybe seeing my dad and that makes me run a hand down my face. "We can't just sit here-" my mother begins, and I look at her through hooded eyes, my dad's jumps up out of the chair. "let's get a room at the hotel so were near, there's calls I can make bo-...Thomas" my dad calls me boy always, always has done but when he says my actual name I look up at him, it's awkward, he might Aswell of called me by my actual birth name, I don't know how to handle him right now so I just nod at him, I watch beau notice everything, every little detail like I've been taught by my dad growing up, my mother gracefully walks up to him, her soft hand held out for beau to grab but he looks at me, and I think about the last time I actually spoke to my brother, until I watch him stroll up and stand beside me, to wrap his nine year old arms around me in a hug, my eyes widen and I stiffen, I slowly pat him on the back, this being the closest we've actually ever been, and I'm slowly regretting every life choice I've made, it could have been so different.