Axel's Daisy

57 • Axel

I couldn't mentally be with my girl.

My own trauma was chasing me, mirroring the scene when I found Dad, cold and lifeless in the hospital. My breaths came to a halt when I saw Daisy begging her dad to wake up, before they covered his face. My stomach churned, and I wanted to escape. But I couldn't leave her when she needed me.

Nothing seemed to matter when our loved ones were taken from us. It felt unfair; we never asked for any of this. I watched Daisy thrash against the nurses as they sedated her. I saw the whole painful scene unfold and my legs carried me to be with her.

She was tucked into bed, her eyes swollen and red, her face pale. It was as if Daisy had become a shadow of herself, her lips dry, her hands resting on each other. I was frozen, my own trauma rendering me speechless.

"I'm sorry, Daisy," I whispered faintly, placing my hand on top of hers.

I rested my head beside her bed, waiting for her to wake up. A nurse, looking older but still young, came in with an apologetic expression.

"She'll wake up in an hour or so," she informed me. I nodded, lifting my head. Rebecca was in the waiting room, and I replayed the scene over and over in my mind.

The nurse left, and I squeezed Daisy's hand in a silent promise, the ring still on her finger.

"Dad, no, dad. Please don't go," she murmured, rolling over with fresh tears. She was having a nightmare, and I was by her side immediately.

"Baby, it'll be okay." I wrapped my arm around her as she opened her eyes, her hair spilling onto my shirt. Her lips trembled, and her hand rested on my neck.

"I didn't expect it to end so soon," she sobbed. I wiped her tears with my fingers as she looked at me.

"Nobody did."

"Why does life have to be this way?" Her voice cracked. I kissed her forehead.

"Because life's a bitch. It doesn't wait for anyone." I replied coldly. She nodded and let out a broken chuckle.

"You know, dad used to get me my favorite vanilla ice cream after work and tease me about being basic. He'd hang my artwork in his room and tell me how proud he was. I never wanted him gone. He was everything I ever had. I felt rich with him, like he was my treasure." She spoke from her heart, and I listened quietly, brushing my fingers with hers.

"He was the dad everyone wished for. All the kids at school looked up to him," she whimpered, her hand trailing down her tears. "I can't imagine life without him. I want this pain to stop. I want to be with him." Her shoulders shook as she buried her face in my chest. I touched her face gently, lifting her onto me as she hugged me tightly. Her breaths were shallow, and soon she fell asleep again.

She cried herself to sleep, and that's when I let myself cry for her dad and mine.

•••

Destiny stood by the room where her dad's body lay, her reluctance palpable. I squeezed her hand, and Rebecca was by our side too. I had to coax her into wearing a sweater Rebecca had brought so she wouldn't get cold.

"Let's go, baby. The funeral is tomorrow, and we need to sign the papers."

I gave a nod to Rebecca, signaling that we needed to be alone. She nodded back, her eyes damp, and walked out of the hall.

Destiny slouched against me, fatigued and fragile in my hold. I bent down to kiss her neck, and she shivered at the spot that drove her crazy.

"Can you stay with me today?" She asked, her voice small and fearful.

"Of course. You don't even have to ask. We're in this together, for the whole ride."

I saw a ghost of a smile on her lips, and I kissed her cheek and jaw.

"We have our final exams today."

"Only two exams, love. But if you can't, I'll call them—"

"No, I'll do it. Dad would have wanted me to graduate," she insisted. I was amazed by her endurance.

"It's okay, they can delay it for you."

"No, I want to make dad proud," she stated firmly.

"You always do. Heck, you make me really proud," I whispered in her ear, and she squeezed my hands.

"You make me proud too, Axel. You are everything I want."

"If your dad is looking down at us, he would have told me to keep my hands where he can see them," I joked, making her laugh softly.

"Or give you the warning talk," she chimed in as we both gazed at the locked door in front of us.

"He already did."

She turned to face me.

"When?"

"Today, right after I came to your room," I told her, my eyes glassy. She covered her eyes and cried wholeheartedly, her cries pulling my heart down with hers.

"Shh, baby, your dad is always with us." I kissed her hair as I embraced her, carrying her when she hid her eyes on my shoulder to mourn.