Axel's Daisy

58 • Destiny

  The casket that lowered into the ground held my dad. I pleaded with them to stop, to bring him back, but my mind couldn't accept that he was truly gone. I kept hoping he was alive somewhere, perhaps just waiting by his tombstone. It hurt that he wanted to be buried next to Mom, a wish that now felt like a knife to my heart.

  I felt guilt, a heavy burden, for not paying more attention, for not being there more for him.

  The sunny morning did little to soothe the trembling of my knees. Axel's arm, tattooed and steady, kept me upright. I leaned my head on his chest, overwhelmed by guilt.

  Jade's red eyes mirrored my pain as she hugged me tightly. We cried on each other's shoulders, sharing a bond deeper than friendship—she was more like a sister to me. I could never replace her.

  "I'm sorry, Destiny. I hope he rests in peace," Brady said solemnly. I hugged him, feeling his own pain. Jade had told me about his loss, and I hugged him tighter, feeling the weight of his grief as he fought back tears. In that moment, we all connected through our shared sorrow.

  Jade held my hand, Axel was by my side, and Brady had a hand on Axel's shoulder. We'd completed one final exam, with one more to go tomorrow, followed by graduation—a milestone Dad wouldn't be there to see.

  "You'll always be in my heart, dad," I whispered, feeling the emptiness of his absence.

  We received condolences from those who had known dad, hearing how he had been the light of their lives. Some relatives I didn't know extended their hands, and mothers looked at me with pity. Maybe I was lonely, but the reality of it all was unbearable.

  People came and went, the priest said his part, and I stayed with my closest friends, who felt like a second family. I was eighteen, and I wanted to be surrounded by the memories of my parents, to keep their spirits alive inside me. Their bodies were gone, but their souls and the lessons they taught me stayed.

  At the matching tombstones, I kissed my fingers and placed them on dad's stone. I planted his favorite lilies, watered them, and ensured they were steady. I whispered against the stone, "This isn't the end, dad; it's only the beginning. You don't know how much I love you. Take care of Mom for me until I join you both." I kissed the tombstone and repeated the process with mom's, placing fresh lilacs and lilies and touching her stone with a tender "see you later."

  Axel was lost in thought while Jade and Brady headed back to the car. I cleaned my hands with the sprinkler and then with wipes from my bag.

  "I'll take care of your daughter really well, John, I promise," Axel said softly, kissing dad's grave and holding my hand. He was my light in the darkness, and I hoped I'd never lose him.

•••

  The thought of being alone in my house, surrounded by echoes of loneliness, was unbearable. Axel had offered for me to stay with him, but I preferred to stay with Jade.

  "Are you sure?" He asked, clearly wanting me to be with him.

  "Yes," I replied.

  Jade shot Axel a smug grin while Brady held her. He rolled his eyes at her as we watched old home videos, crying together over the joyful memories of my parents. Even Axel and Brady had shed tears at the adorable moments. Jade had been part of those memories, and her parents had shared in the joy of our picnics and boat rides.

  As night fell, the stars sparkled from my dad's window, a beautiful sight. I packed dad's belongings to keep their scent and memories. I couldn't bear to part with them. The room felt empty and dull without him.

  They helped me transfer my things to Brady's car. With everything packed, I sat on Axel's lap due to the cramped space. Brady suggested renting the house later to make some income for college.

  I held a picture of dad and I in front of our house, a snapshot of happiness when we decorated the walkway with flowers. Axel's chin rested on my shoulder as we looked at the photograph.

  "You guys have the same smile," he said.

  "We were really happy. It was a good team—he handled maintenance, and I took care of the flowers," I explained.

  "It's really beautiful, baby," he murmured, his hands holding me close.

  I placed my hands over his as he pecked my shoulder blade. His love language was physical touch, and he showed me what true love was.

  Jade began reminiscing. "Do you remember when we went camping with your dad?"

  "Yes, you were running from that snake Dad caught," I laughed at the memory.

  "He tricked me! How was I supposed to know it was harmless?" Jade protested.

  "Of course, he wouldn't hold a poisonous one!" I laughed, and Jade joined in.

  "Snakes are lame," Axel scoffed.

  "You're lame," Jade shot back.

  "Yes, you're lame," Brady imitated.

  "You're supposed to be on my side, Brads," Axel said, feigning hurt.

  "Not when my lady is in my world," Brady said, snickering. Brady wiggled his brows at her. I laughed at their playful banter.

  "Whatever, you're sleeping alone," Jade teased Axel.

  "But we always cuddle," he pouted.

  "Do you cuddle with each other?" I asked.

  "I wouldn't be surprised," Jade commented, making me laugh.

  "Hey!" They both said in unison.

  I wouldn't trade them for the world.