The Loan - B.B ✪

Part 5 - Persuing Dreams

Background conversation started to filter back into your hearing as the world became clearer again. Eyes still locked on one another, neither of you moving a muscle. Steve's disappearance a distant thought.

"Bucky I..."

"No Y/N just listen, I have wanted you since the moment I first laid eyes on you and yes I admit I went about it the complete wrong way. I treated you as just another woman to sleep with. But you're not just that to me. The night we met after I heard you sing and carried you home, seeing your fragility, I knew I wanted more than that, I wanted to protect you, care for you, I would do anything for you. God you infatuate me, I don't just want you, I need you. You are so drop dead gorgeous that I can't even believe you're real let alone single! And seeing you talk to another man tonight just put that into perspective. You could have anyone you want and won't stay single for long and it made my feelings that much clearer to me so I can't stand by and carry on as we are. I'm sorry I just can't. Ive never felt like this with anyone before, you are everything I am missing" he softly finishes barely taking a breath.

You were bewildered by the confession you had just heard, everything seemed so sudden yet also overdue. It was like a dream, it wasn't real. He didn't mean those words did he? Surely he was just really drunk. Feeling your hands quiver and your knees get weak you break eye contact. You shake your head in a distressing attempt to stop your thoughts. Your mind drowns in pessimism and you fundamentally don't know what to do or say. Struggling to see a way out of your own head, terrified you flee away from the scene and back into the club, racing to the women's restroom.

Your desperation to have a minute alone leaves Bucky crushed. You didn't want to say the wrong thing and offend or hurt Bucky but you fear by running you've done exactly that.

When you enter you make a beeline for the sizeable mirror, quickly wiping any remaining lipstick off your face and splashing yourself with cold water. Why the hell did I run? Composing myself I switch the tap off and return back to search for Bucky. Finding him nearly exactly where you left him outside but this time with Steve. He had also wiped any evidence of the kiss in the form of my lipstick from off his face.

"Ah Y/N ready to get home?" Steve asks blissfully oblivious to what he missed as you catch up.

"Yeah... Urm... look Bucky I..."

"Don't mention it, let's just pretend none of it ever happened shall we?" Bucky brushes off quickly storming in the direction of your home. Ouch. You could have sworn your heart broke listening to that one sentence. If that's the game he wants to play fine, I knew his words where too good to be true. I had no idea it was possible for a man to be so bipolar. This was clearly just another attempt to get me into his bed. I will admit the feelings I felt during that kiss, I was close to going if he asked but no, I wasn't falling for it now.

The walk home was brisk, Steve struggled to keep up with you and Bucky, he was wheezing and breathing heavily so there was no conversation at all. Even you couldn't catch up to Bucky who was always slightly ahead of you. Not once did he turn around to check if you and Steve were following him either, solely relying on the tapping sound of your shoes as you moved to know you were there. Your mind still racing.

Eventually Bucky stops abruptly, arriving at your apartment, still keeping his muscular back to you. Instead of indulging him you just slide past him, not saying a word, entering your home and leaving the door open so you can deliver the cake. Grabbing it you circle back and step back out into the darkness only Bucky was already walking down the street in the opposite direction.

Steve still catching his breath stood with an empathetic yet confused look on his face. Deep down however Steve was glad he wasn't being interrogated for disappearing. He thought that Bucky had worked out that Steve had gone to enlist again at first but quickly realised Bucky was also angry at Y/N. Bucky always flipped at Steve when he tried to enlist after all. This time though Bucky had something to actually flip about, Steve had officially been given a chance and recruited by Dr Abraham Erskine. He would be sent to the training camp on Friday, and fight for something a lot bigger than himself.