If you're into Chan and enjoy angst, then this story is definitely tailored for you!
Chan didn't want to do what his agency asked. They pushed him to create scandals for attention, promising it would help Stray Kids get famous. Reluctantly, he agre...
Yesterday we came to a beautiful location for a photoshoot. After we finished, we decided to stay for a couple more days. The place was gorgeous—everyone seemed to love it. It felt like a short vacation. The environment was so calm and serene; it really eased both my body and mind. But not for so long...
During the past month, I've realized something—The members aren't the same as I used to know them. I kept thinking that they would eventually understand me, that they would forgive me. That's why I endured everything in silence. I thought if I just held on a little longer, things would go back to how they were. But the more time passes, the more I realize I might be wrong. There were days when I must have been a horrible person, days I don't even remember clearly.
But why can't they understand that I'm not that person anymore? Why can't they see that I've changed?
Did I really do something so unforgivable?
Who should I blame—my past self?
I kept thinking these things over and over, trying to find an answer, trying to figure out what went wrong. But one thing is clear—they love to see me suffer.
It was afternoon, and they had already ordered food. All of it was so incredibly spicy...
Did they do that on purpose? I didn't want to eat any of it—I'd rather stay on an empty stomach.
But Seungmin wasn't going to let me off so easily. He forcefully pushed the entire bowl towards me, insisting that I eat every last bit. My mouth felt like it was on fire. When I reached out for some water, he pulled it away, holding it just out of my reach.
"Not until you finish the bowl, Chan hyung" he said.
How many more days do I have to endure this? They're my brothers... One day they'll understand me, right? Even though I can't even understand myself now...
A cough escaped my throat. It was burning—I needed water so badly, but I didn't dare to beg. Minho's words echoed in my mind, clear as day.
"You don't get to beg for mercy. Not after what you did. You're going to pay for every single thing you did."
That's what he said... And I've decided to pay. But it seems like this debt is going to take a long time to settle.
"I-I'm done."
I muttered, showing the empty bowl to Seungmin.
"Good, hyung... here's your water," he said, holding out a bottle. I reached out to take it, but just as I was about to grab it, he tossed it to Changbin like it was a ball, smirking as he did.
I stumbled like a fool, trying to catch up with the bottle, but Changbin only laughed as he caught it and threw it back to Seungmin.
"Haha, Chan hyung... you need to be quicker," they teased, tossing the bottle between them.
I know that I'm being toyed with...
But they aren't evil... They're still just my kids. They're just forcing themselves to treat me cruelly.
"Hey, where are you going?" Bin asked as I tried to distance myself from them.
"I don't need water," I replied, trying to keep my voice steady.
But Bin wasn't done. He pushed me toward an open room on the other side of the hall, shoving me inside before slamming the door shut. I heard the lock click, sealing me in. Their laughter echoed from the other side.
"Yes, you don't need water, hyung. " I heard Seungmin's voice call out from the other side.
"Stay in there until we come back from walk."
I sighed. This room feels like an old storeroom. It's small, stuffy, and to make it worse, it's pitch black when the door is closed .I pulled my shirt up to my mouth, biting down on it cause the burning sensation from the spicy food made me feel like cry. Feeling around, I found the wall and sat down on the floor, sitting with my back against the wall.
It's dark...small space...no window...closed door... The environment was trying to bring back something I had buried in my mind.
With the throbbing in head, Chan started to worry that it's going to happen again. Lately, Chan had been getting these headaches more frequently, accompanied by flashes of unclear memories that leave him feeling scared and uneasy.
But today, It's different...the pain in his head was twice as intense...Chan squeezed his eyes shut and curled up. Unclear, blurry flashbacks started to hit him...
A dark room just like this one...a bed...Am...am I crying?
Chan tried harder to remember...
Hands...A lot of hands...touching me... And with that, Chan could start to feel them again...someone's touching his body...
s-stop...no...I need to escape...I need to get out of this room...
The thoughts from his memory pushed Chan toward the door of the room. I'm feeling scared...Why was I scared...?
And then, without realizing it, his hands started to bang on the locked door.
I'm scared...I want to leave this place...
Chan thought as he started shouting.
....
"Seungmin... Open the door..." I gasped, struggling to catch my breath. My chest felt tight, like a vice was squeezing the life out of me. It was getting harder and harder to breathe... these imaginary hands were suffocating me... I could feel it.
"Seungmin, please..."
My fist slammed into the door, over and over..
Are they not here...Panic surged through me. My head spun, the darkness pressing in from all sides.
"Please...hah...
Take me out... guys..."
My voice grew more desperate with each word, Tears that I had held back for so long finally spilled from my eyes.
" TAKE ME OUT!!!"
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I shouted, my voice raw and filled with anguish.
I couldn't breathe...my lungs refusing to cooperate...
