His Agony

30 - He didn't sleep.

Bin's POV;

it's almost week in a row...
We still can't seem to stop Chan from do all the chores like some ghostly servant who doesn't know he's supposed to be resting.

Every morning, it's the same twisted ritual-Chan, up at dawn before anyone else, zombie-walking through the kitchen to cook, clean, do laundry, basically every thankless task in the dorm then stuck in his room alone with his laptop and stuff.

They say it becomes a habit if you do something for 21 days straight, so it's not exactly shocking that after doing this almost for months, it's a routine for chan now.
It's so fucking painful to realize that the hyung we once bullied is so used to it, he can't even recognize kindness.

We've tried, really, to break the cycle.

Minho usually catches him mid-breakfast prep, trying to plead with Chan to just stop. And if Chan happens to be in a good enough mood, he'll listen, step back, and let Minho take over. But then, after a little while, Minho will find him again-this time dragging around a pile of dirty bedsheets, intent on doing the laundry. Minho ends up pleading again, prying the sheets out of his hands. And Chan? He'll reluctantly give it up, only to go sneak off and start mopping the floors or scrubbing the bathroom five minutes later.

Stopping Chan from constantly trying to do something has honestly become our primary activity these days.

Gaining his memory back didn't change much about Chan, actually.
He's still just the same as usual. He hasn't really spoken much to us, but he always discusses the important things-the schedules, reminders, anything necessary.

Though, it's obvious our sudden change in behavior, this abrupt shift, seem to startled him a lot....

Seungmin, on the other hand, has been avoiding Chan completely. Actually, Min, Lix, and even hyunjinnie have barely been around in the dorm the past few days. We don't even know where they're disappearing to.

Han's the one who's taken it upon himself to make sure Chan eats three proper meals every day.
And starting yesterday, Innie's been sleeping in Chan's room.

Two reasons: one, we can beat him to the kitchen and finally be the ones making him breakfast And two... well, we're still kind of afraid to leave him alone.

But it's clear Chan doesn't
like the whole "sharing a bed" arrangement-took a little time to realize why.

"He didn't sleep. Not even a little"

Innie whispered to me, leaning against my shoulder.

We were just sitting together in the living room that afternoon.

Min, Lix, and Jin were off somewhere. Meanwhile, Minho was in the kitchen, whipping up some soup for Chan's lunch, and I'd just come from Chan's room letting han to watch over him, where we were working on a track.

"What do you mean, Innie?"

I asked, ruffling his hair while he was half-asleep on my shoulder.
That's when I noticed his face-he had dark circles under his eyes, something I'd never seen on him before.

"I was watching Chan-hyung the whole night." Innie whispered,
"He didn't even turn to look at me.
But I don't think he slept at all.
He just lay there,
pretending to be asleep even before I got into bed. All he did was toss and turn the entire night."

"You think he's been like this on other nights too?" I asked.

"I... I think so," he answered, sounding defeated. "How does he even do it? I didn't see him sleep in the daytime, either. I did it for just one night, and I'm exhausted."

"Should we... take him to a doctor?
He seemed okay, but I don't think he actually is. "

Innie didn't reply to what i said. He had already drifted off to a light sleep on my shoulder, too worn out to stay awake any longer.

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Hyunjin's POV:

By the time I walked back to the dorm, it must've been past 2 a.m.
I tossed my stuff on the table and collapsed onto the sofa in the dark.

A few minutes later, I heard the faint creak of the door. He slipped in, moving silently like a shadow, and headed straight for the table.

I squinted my eyes open just enough to see him. He grabbed the jug of water and poured himself a glass, drinking it all in one go without even noticing I was there.

Why is he still awake? I thought.

Didn't the others say Innie was sleeping with him?

wondered, staying absolutely still, watching him as he poured a second glass of water.

I could hear him placing the empty glass back on the table.

Go back to sleep .

I thought willing him to turn around and go back to his room..

But I didn't hear any footsteps. I tried to make out his shape in the darkness. He's just standing there.

Minutes passed, maybe five, but he still hadn't moved an inch.

Just talk to him, I told myself.

It was easier to just avoid him, to try and forget the mess we'd made. I let out a quiet sigh, steeling myself.

Just a few words, I thought.
Send him back to bed.
I finally decided.

"Chan Hyung -"

No matter how gently I tried to speak, it didn't stop Chan from flinching at the sound of my voice.

He spun around, almost jumping in alarm. And then I heard it-the sound of something breaking.

Did he just break the glass?
My heart skipped a beat.
Did he hurt himself!?

I couldn't see a thing clearly in the darkness, so I scrambled over to the light switch to turn on the light.

When the room finally lit up, I saw him standing by the table, looking down at the floor with a confuse expression, his weight leaning slightly against the table.
Please don't let him be hurt. I don't wanna see him get hurt cause of me anymore..

I rushed over to him, my nerves on edge. He glanced up at me, the smallest movement audible, but then, suddenly, his hands shot up, covering his face defensively as if he were trying to shield himself.

"I-I didn't do it on purpose!
I SWEAR!"

he yelled, his voice cracking, laced with pure panic. And I stopped dead .

The familiar scent hit me. It wasn't a water glass that had broken. It was my perfume bottle on the table.

The shattered glass lay scattered across the floor, its liquid pooling and soaking Chan's feet.

"It was an accident... don't-"

Chan stammered, too scared to even look at me properly.

He thinks I'll hurt him for this.

I felt a bitter pang in my chest. a mixture of guilt and anger at myself, at how things had gotten to the point where he felt this way.

At least......
I thought to myself, he didn't seem to be injured.

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Next chap tomorrow.

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