'sometimes it feels like i've got a war in my mind.'
⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆
drip, drip, drip.
the irritating sound of the leaky pipe woke jisung up.
he checked his clock.
5:30 am.
his alarm would go off in half an hour, so he decided to get up.
his suitcase sat in the corner looking sorry for itself. it was beaten down and broken. one wheel didn't work and the handle couldn't be put down like on other suitcases.
he shut off his night light and tucked his teddy snug in the suitcase.
his school bag was already packed with the books he needed and his school uniform was neatly laid out on the back of his chair.
he had tried to iron it as best as he could but it still didn't look nice enough for the school he was going to.
it was an expensive boarding school. seoul boarding. he'd gotten in on a scholarship in music due to his good grades, his parents only had to pay half of the original fee because of this.
jisung chucked on his uniform after he had a quick, cold shower and brushed his teeth.
he grabbed his luggage and made his way to the bus station, skipping breakfast as usual.
he knew he looked stupid as he walked down the street. he knew he looked ridiculous with his broken suitcase, ugly backpack and run down appearance.
ignoring his growing anxiety, he stepped onto the bus and found a seat. the lady in front of him was snacking on a store bought salad. jisung was hungry. so hungry.
he tore his eyes away from the meal and gulped his water down, hoping it would at least take the edge off the pain in his stomach.
as soon as he got to the school, his eyes widened. it was made out of stone with beautiful carvings in it. a statue stood in the middle of a fountain, she was pouring water out of her vase. her naked body was worn and chipped away.
vines grew up the outside of the building and flowers lay in front, adding colour to the otherwise bland exterior.
jisung felt out of place as he looked around the crowds of students. everyone looked put together and clean. they all had bags and suitcases from expensive brands and the jewellery decorating some of them shone bright in the morning sun, blinding the poor boy who'd never seen so many gems.
he gulped a little already feeling himself tremble as he approached the lady at the desk.
'excuse me, my name is han jisung and i'm new here.
excuse me, my name is han jisung and i'm new here.
excuse me, my name is han jisung and i'm new here.
excuse me, my name is-'
his thoughts were interrupted as he stood face to face with the woman at the desk.
"u-um ex-excuse me." he stammered pathetically, tears already wanted to lay comfortably in his eyes and take a trip down to his cheeks, but he forced them away, evicting them.
"hi honey, how can i help you?" her voice was kind and calmed jisung down a little.
"m-my name is han j-jisung a-and, um, i'm new here..." he tightened his hand into a fist, his long nails digging into the soft skin which resided upon his palm, he dug so deep that he broke the skin, a few droplets of blood escaped his hands, running past his fingertips and onto the beautifully laid floor.
she typed on her computer a little before he faced the boy again.
"ah, yes, han jisung, your room is 127 on the third floor. here's your time table, my lovely." she smiled sweetly at him and jisung bowed as he took the piece of paper from her with two hands.
he mumbled a quiet thank you before turning to face the elevator.
there was a gathering of students in front of it, obviously waiting for the elevator so it could bring them up to their room.
jisung shuddered at the thought of standing with a bunch of students in a small enclosed space.
luckily, there were stairs.
he made his way over to them. no one was there, only a couple people dragging their suitcases, but they were nearly at the top of the first flight.
jisung lifted his suitcase. why was it so heavy? when did he get so weak?
his feeble body wasn't cut out for this. hauling his suitcase up so many stairs. there wasn't a lot in the suitcase but it was still too much for his body.
he stopped after a while to take a breather. he felt so unfit and stupid. it was only his first day and he already wanted nothing more but to sob into his hands.
he bit his lip, harsh, trying to prevent the tears flowing. however, this only caused blood to flow. It seeped down his chin and into his skin, tinting it red.
he looked at his suitcase. the handle had a bloody handprint on it. jisung stared at his hands. there was blood on his palms from when he'd dug his nails into them.
everything was going wrong.
everything hurt.
nothing was working.
jisung was stressed and overwhelmed. he just wished someone would save him.
he wished for someone to engulf him and never let him go. to protect him. to take care of him. he was so young and he'd already been through so much. he just wanted it to stop.
tears slowly fell down his face. be regretted taking the stairs. he was no where near his dorm.
he wished he could've just gotten over his stupid anxiety and stood in an elevator with those people.
no one would've cared.
no one would've said anything.
if only he knew that back then.
if only he knew that.
YOU ARE READING
cinnamon boys
Fanfic'𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦, 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘪𝘥' what happened in jisung's first year at boarding school was nothing like he expected. ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ heavily based on lana de...
