cinnamon boys

don't let me be misunderstood

'but i'm just a soul whose intentions are good. oh lord, please don't let me be misunderstood.'

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆

jisung bounded along the corridor, a large smile adorned his features as he stared at the new contact in his phone, 'minho hyung'.

when he'd left only a few minutes ago, minho had pressed a soft kiss to the crown of his head. jisung blushed only thinking about it.

he loved how minho treated him. his actions were so tender and gentle, as if jisung would break under any harsh touch, any loud noise, anything that wasn't quiet and delicate.

he felt so protected with the older, like he was precious.

although minho treated him like porcelaine, he never felt fragile or weak around minho. the older never made him feel stupid. especially when he had a panic attack the first time they met.

the only problem was that he didn't feel as though he was giving anything back. god, he was so awkward and flustered around minho. he couldn't even think straight.

if he kept acting like that, wouldn't minho eventually get bored of him? he would get sick of getting nothing back, giving but never receiving. that's never a good feeling. maybe he feels unappreciated with jisung, like he's wasting his time. he'll probably leave one way or another. jisung didn't want that. it scared him.

he was so engrossed in his thoughts, he didn't even realise he was back at his dorm and suddenly, everything flooded back to him.

how worried jeongin sounded over the phone, his roommate being left alone, how he'd panicked everyone by just disappearing.

he was so stupid. so so stupid. why did he leave like that? why didn't he leave a note or something to say where he was going? what was wrong with him?

cautiously, he opened the door, peering his head round the corner.

as soon as he did, he saw chan, who was originally sitting on the couch, immediately stand up and run over to the door, pulling it open further and accidentally causing jisung to stumble forward.

"oh my god, jisung." chan's voice had a flood of relief washing in it, but jisung couldn't help but pick up a hint of panic.

he couldn't believe he made people worry about him like that.

"s-sorry, i'm so sorry, i-i never meant to panic everyone like that i s-swear, it was a stupid mistake, i should've told you where i was going, i'm so sorry." he bowed deeply, little beads of water welling in his eyes.

chan was shocked by this action and jeongin, who had just come out the bathroom, let out a surprised noise upon seeing jisung bow so deeply over something like this.

however, to jisung, he felt he wasn't bowing deep enough, wasn't apologising enough, wasn't doing enough. he'd always been taught to never worry someone or do something wrong that made someone else feel uncomfortable, if he did, he had to apologise correctly. make it up to them. treat them.

but how could jisung ever do something like that with his extremely limited means? he decided that he should try to prove his sincerity to his apology in another way.

chan put a hand on his shoulder comfortingly, making jisung look up through his bangs, "it's okay, it's okay, you don't need to...do all this." chan smiled awkwardly.

jisung shot up almost immediately, "i-i'm sorry, did i make you u-uncomfortable?" the younger bit his lip anxiously.

"no, no, jisung, it's okay, yeah? it's okay." chan emphasised and looked at jisung expectantly, the boy nodded a little hesitantly, "just please tell me where you're going next time if your going to leave so late, or at least let me know that you're going out please." chan asked, he held his phone in his hand and looked to open a new contact and handed it to jisung.

the boy took the phone cautiously and put his number in before handing it back to chan.

"thank you." chan patted his shoulder before looking at the clock behind the younger and realising he needed to go.

he patted jisung's head before walking out the door.

jisung liked head pats, and appreciated chan's, but it wasn't the same as when minho did it, it didn't feel as nice.

chan didn't run his hands through the younger's hair like minho did. chan didn't twirl the strands between his fingers like minho did. chan didn't give jisung that fluttery feeling whenever he touched him like minho did.

he liked chan, but he felt empty without that little fuzziness in his stomach.

jeongin was still standing by the bathroom door, somewhat worried about jisung's behaviour.

he was apologetic, too apologetic.

jeongin brushed it off for now and decided to see if he could strike up conversation with the older.

"so, how was your friend?" he flopped on the couch and patted the seat next to him, signalling for jisung to join him.

"u-uh, he-he's good, yeah..." jeongin thought he saw the faintest tint of blush on the boys ears but decided to brush it off as his imagination.

"why were you out so late?" jeongin fluffed up his cushion as he spoke before curling against it, getting comfortable.

"u-um, just needed s-some fresh air a-and so i-i went to the park." jisung picked at his nails rather harshly.

"the park? you were at the park?" jeongin suddenly sat up, causing jisung to look at him with anxious eyes.

"u-um, sorry if i'm n-not allowed, i-i didn't mean to, i-i didn't know..." jisung immediately jumped to conclusions.

"no, no, you're allowed to go, it's just that it can be very dangerous at night because a lot of...shady people hang out there." jeongin sighed, "i just want you to be safe." the younger smiled softly, easing some of jisung's worry. he had a nice smile.

"s-sorry..." jisung spoke quietly.

"you apologise too much." jeongin teased with a little smirk as he stood up to make his way to his own dorm.

"sorr-"

"don't finish that word." jeongin giggled.

jisung nodded with the ghost of a smile on his features.

jeongin slipped his shoes on, waved a goodbye and disappeared behind the door.

and once again, the loneliness which lived in jisung's heart, stirred from its bed to start its day.