The Black Widow | A Hunger Games Fanfiction

Last Chance

Sapphire wasn't the only one I lost because of my mistake.

The letter had been thrown through my mailbox while I was away. It was a summons, from the Orphanage's Matron asking if I would like to take custody of my siblings or leave them there. I was at the orphanage ten minutes later.
The matron's office was like a cheaper version of Snow's, which didn't give me a good feeling. She began by offering her condolences for the deaths of my parents, but I had already accepted that. I was just glad that White and Burnie were still alive. When I asked to see them, she left for a minute before returning with the pair, each dressed in tatty clothes that looked like they had been handed through six generations of kids.
"What happened to their normal clothes?" I asked, knowing that even their worst clothes were nicer than these,
"Most of their possessions are sold on entrance to the orphanage, in order to pay for their time here."
"My parents died three days ago," I growled, "You knew I was coming back. You knew I would have money to pay you when I got back." She shrank away in fear and I realised that my hands were around her throat, pinning her against the wall. I turned back to my siblings but they were smiling. What had this bitch done to them to make them smile at this. I took them by their shoulders and led them from the room, leaving that evil woman to gasp as the ability to breathe was returned to her.

I said nothing to my siblings as I led them back to my home in Victor's Village and they said nothing to me. When we went inside the house, both of them let out collective gasps at the grandeur that was completely new to them, even though I had grown accustomed to it. I led them up the stairs to the corridor of empty bedrooms.
"Why don't you each pick a room and I'll go over to the house and pick up some of your stuff. The beds should already be set up so you can sleep if you want. There should also be some food in the fridge but I'll bring some more on my way back"
They nodded and I didn't give them alot of time before turning on my heel and walking out.

It didn't take me long to get back to my old house. The door was unlocked with the lock broken and it swung open easily when I pushed it. I took in a deep breath when I entered; I hadn't stepped foot in this house since the morning of the reaping and I felt odd inside. Alien even. The home was like a relic of the girl I had been. It wasn't my home any more.
In silence, I followed the familiar path up the stairs to the room I had shared with Burnie. My bed was still there to my surprise, stripped of sheets. Maybe they had been using it as a guest bedroom although I wasn't sure who would've visited. Burnie's side of the room was full of life as always: pictures and colours adorning the walls. I took a bag from her cupboard and began to fill it with her toys and clothes. I felt like I should've felt more grief at seeing my old room, but the feeling I had was more mournful acceptance.
I did the same in White's room before trudging home. The sun had all but set and all the lights were out in my house. I could only assume it was because my siblings were asleep. I hoped it wasn't because they didn't know how to work the electric lights.

I snuck up the stairs, pushing each bedroom door open a fraction of an inch to check if one of my siblings had claimed it. In each of their rooms, I dropped off their bags of belongings and pulled the covers over them. It was winter after all.
Then, I went downstairs to check for food in the fridge- there was basically nothing since I had been away and any food I had must've rotted while I was in the Capitol. I resolved to go in the morning as soon as the shops opened and buy enough food that White and Burnie could have the best breakfast of their lives. Even if I wasn't exactly the best cook in the world.

I sat at the kitchen table with a bottle of wine in my hand just processing for a few hours. At some point, I must've passed out because when I woke up, it was light outside and I had a headache. Swearing, I wrote a note for the kids and grabbed my jacket and wallet as I rushed out the door.
I all but ran to the market, where the citizens of District 1 were already out in full force either shopping or commuting. I darted between various shops, ensuring I had enough food for my siblings to be able to grab something if they wanted it.
By the time I got back, Burnie and White were already sitting on the living room couch in front of the crackling fire.
"Sorry," I said, as I tried to hang up my coat without dropping my shopping bags, "I realised when I came back that we didn't have any food. I've got some now. I'll make breakfast."
"It's too late," Burnie said, getting up and turning to me, "We have school." Shit, I'd forgotten about that,
"School can wait a day," I said, "I'll send you in with a note tomorrow. Come eat." It took me no more that 20 minutes to prepare a semi-adequate breakfast for my siblings. When we were done, I cleared up the plates then taught White how to work the TV, lights, radio and shower (Burnie didn't seem interested).
After that, White seemed quite content to sit on the couch and flick through the channels. He especially seemed to like the animated channel intended for Capitol children but which we managed to get reception to in 1's Victors Village. I went back to the kitchen to find Burnie, who was looking at me with a sorrowful expression,
"This is how you've been living for the past year?" she asked sadly,
"What... what do you mean Burnie?" I asked kindly, though with some confusion,
"There's no food in your fridge. You're completely alone. The portraits are covered in knives. There's more wine than water." I flinched,
"I'm better now. I'll do better. For you."
"I don't need you to do better for me, or for White. I need to know if you are okay."
"I am," I lied,
"I don't believe you." I sighed,
"Well you're going to have to because that's how it is now."

Burnie looked like she was going to answer, but she was interrupted by the sound of something coming through the mailbox. I went to get it, glad to get out of that conversation.
It was an envelope with a wax seal- the capitol seal- addressed to me. I broke the seal, knowing what it would contain and pulled out a single card. It was a list of names and numbers beside a list of dates: every Friday and Saturday it seemed for the next month.
All the names and dates were printed, but what caught my eye was the handwritten note at the top:
Last Chance.

And I knew exactly what it meant. I stepped outside to check where the deliveryman was, but the street was all but empty. I breathed in the cold winter air and flicked my eyes over the street that housed all the Victors from one. Across the road, I saw Cashmere come out of her house and she met my eyes. Pity filled them and she waved me over to her.
I quickly yelled inside to my siblings that I was going to be back soon and I headed across the road to Cashmere's house.
Her house was immaculate, unlike mine and I followed her into her kitchen, where there was a woman cleaning.
"Can we have some tea please, Jade," she said to the woman, who nodded and began filling up the kettle with water. After that, Cashmere led me through to her study and sat down at the desk. I took the seat opposite her.
"So you got the calendar," she said, it wasn't a question but I nodded. I guessed that's what the letter I had just received was.
"Is it what I think it is?" I asked. Cashmere nodded grimly.
"Every week?" I asked, knowing the answer even before she nodded grimly.
"Every Friday afternoon, there's a train that takes all the desirable victors to the Capitol. I'll take you there the first time. We generally have to be there at about three and we'll be on the train for an three hours before we arrive_"
She stopped talking as Jade came in with the tea tray and set it infront of her. She thanked the woman then started pouring out the tea. When Jade had left, she resumed talking,
"We arrive in the Capitol. We then go to the hotel. The number next to each name is the room number. We have to stay for 3 hours and then we can go back to the train. We stay there. Then we have a date the next day. And in the evening, we go to the hotel again. After that, we get on the train and come home. We usually get home around six the next morning so most sleep on the train."
"You seem to know alot about this," I said,
"I've been doing it a long time," Cashmere said sadly, "But I'm halfway through. The Capitol usually stops seeing Victors as desirable at about thirty, unless they've aged well. Or Snow decides to operate."
That sent shivers down my spine but at least there was an end to this. At some point.
"You might want to arrange for someone to watch your siblings though," she told me,
"Who?" I asked,
"It's not difficult to find someone who needs a job, or somewhere to live. You're a victor. You have enough money to pay well. I hired Jade a few years ago to make sure the space around me seemed clean enough and I had food in the house on the days I couldn't leave." I noticed she said couldn't leave instead of didn't want to. It reminded me that she knew what I was going through. But it also told me that the horrors that had haunted me from the games would never leave me.

The next day, while White and Burnie were at school, I went into town and hired a lady called Bella to stay in one of the spare bedrooms and look after the kids. I remembered her daughter from the Academy- she was a nice woman. And she had never approved of training kids for the Hunger Games. I didn't want my siblings brainwashed into following in my footsteps.
I was planning to just hire her for the weekend, but as I was talking to her, I found out her daughter and husband had been killed in an accident at the diamond creation centre and she had nowhere else to go.
That at least gave me a sense that I was doing one good thing with my miserable life.
And it meant Burnie and White would have actual food for the whole week.

On Thursday evening, while we were eating dinner when I told my siblings,
"So I'm going to be going away for the weekend," I said between mouthfuls of chilli con carne.
"Where?" White asked immediately,
"The Capitol," I replied,
"Why?" Burnie asked with suspicion,
"I have some... work." She looked like she wanted to ask another question but I cut her off,
"I'll probably leave before you get home from school so I might not see you. I'll be back on Monday, but Bella will look after you, okay?" They nodded.