SWIMMING IN CHAOS~THOMAS CECCON

3

"Bianca"

During the drive home, the tension was palpable; neither of us said anything, but it was clear we had a serious problem to address.

When we arrived, the first thing I did was change into something comfortable. As I did, my mind prepared to face the situation.

Once I was ready, I went downstairs to the kitchen to drink a glass of water to calm myself, where I found Thomas, head down, drinking a glass of wine.

"You shouldn't be drinking at this hour," I said, seeing that he intended to fill his glass again.

"Leave me alone," he exclaimed in a dry and direct tone, which left me speechless.

"We need to talk. We've been having problems for months, and every time I try to solve them, you ignore me. I'm fed up!" I burst out, overwhelmed by the situation.

"I'm the one who's fed up! With this relationship, with you, with everything. You know I haven't been well lately, the pressure is killing me, and I have enough problems without you adding another one," he said, agitated, surprising me.

"Problems? I have them too. Do you think I don't feel the pressure?" I said, on the verge of tears. "I've been watching our relationship fall apart for months, and now it turns out it's all my fault! I'm the one who has to watch you prefer to be with someone else, pay attention to someone else, not you. So stop being such a selfish bastard and try to face the situation for once in your life!" I couldn't take it anymore; I wasn't willing to let him throw his problems in my face.

"Stop talking nonsense. You know Isabella is just a teammate, a friend. You always create these false scenarios in your head. What you did today was too much, and to top it off, you embarrassed me in front of the whole team. Do you think that's normal?" he retorted.

"What's not normal is that you prefer to go with her when I'm trying to talk to you and tell you something important to me," I said, stunned by his attitude.

"That's what you have Lorenzo for, right?" I was stunned by his response. "I'm not stupid, Bianca. I see how he looks at you, how he talks to you. That guy has more than friendship in mind, and you're so naive that you don't see it," he replied with an ironic tone.

"I can't believe you're mentioning Lorenzo. You know we're just friends. At least I don't leave you to go with him, do I?" I asked. But he remained silent with a serious expression.

"Answer me, damn it!" I said, exhausted.

"You know what? Screw you. I'm tired of this relationship, of this monotonous crap. Every day is the same. I can't take it anymore!" he said on the verge of collapse.

"Well, if you're so tired, maybe we should end this," I replied angrily.

"Is that what you want? Fine by me," he said with a stern look.

"Great," I said before leaving the kitchen and heading to the bedroom, where I got into bed exhausted and drained. As I did, I heard the front door slam shut. I knew this was the end, it was over.

Unable to sleep, I wondered if this was the right decision. Part of me regretted not being more mature and trying to solve our problems and ending things more amicably.

On the other hand, I thought that the decision might be for the best so that we could focus solely on our careers and our preparation for the Olympics. We had heard it from the coach: we shouldn't let our personal lives affect our performance.

Besides, how hard is it to get over a breakup?

The next morning, I woke up early with incredible exhaustion and a strange feeling. I turned, and Thomas was no longer by my side. It felt odd not to see him and feel him next to me. I remembered that before our relationship began to fall apart, he used to bring me breakfast in bed, and we would share it while chatting about the most stupid things we could think of.