SWIMMING IN CHAOS~THOMAS CECCON

14

"Bianca"

The dinner continues peacefully. Everyone is in good spirits except me. Even Thomas, who doesn't seem affected after our argument.

I had no intention beyond friendship with Léon, but it seems he didn't understand it that way. I just wanted to have a conversation and get to know him, that was one of the goals of this experience.

My appetite has vanished, I feel terrible inside, and I can feel the tears of frustration slowly threatening to come out. Before I break down and let anyone see me in that state, I decide to excuse myself, using the need to go to the bathroom as an excuse.

On the way, I crumble, but I manage to make it to the bathroom in time without anyone seeing me. Inside, I cry nonstop to the point where my head starts hurting.

I know this isn't good for me, especially knowing I'm starting to compete tomorrow. I try to calm down and focus on what's important—I need to stay concentrated and leave all the problems behind.

I'm not angry with Thomas but disappointed. I didn't expect that kind of behavior, especially over a simple conversation I had with the Frenchman.

When I open the door to leave, intending to return to the table with my teammates, I find the last person I expected.

Léon was standing on the other side of the door, looking concerned.
"Is everything okay? You seemed very serious at the table," he asks, approaching me, genuinely interested.

"Well, it could be better. I had a small argument with Thomas, caused by a misunderstanding, but I'm feeling calmer now. Thanks for asking," I say, giving him a grateful smile.

"Was it something I said at the table? If it was, I apologize. I really didn't mean to cause any problems between you two," he says with a guilty look. I decide to reassure him; I don't want him to feel bad or guilty for something he didn't do.

"The issue is that Thomas and I had a relationship, and before dinner, he saw us talking and misinterpreted things. I tried to explain it to him, but he couldn't understand. He can be the most stubborn person when he sets his mind to it."

"So that's why he was so irritable and weird earlier," he responds. I nod, agreeing with him.

"I want you to know, it's really okay. It wasn't your fault, Thomas acted like a complete immature person. And thanks for coming, you didn't have to," I say, finally giving him a hug in gratitude for caring about me like that, even though he barely knows me.

As we hug, he speaks again, "No problem. That's what we're here for, right? To help each other out," and with those words, we decide to return to the table.

On the way back, I think about how Léon managed to make me smile. I definitely feel better than before.

When we sit down, I notice Thomas' face, serious and incredulous. I choose to ignore him and try to enjoy the rest of the evening with the others.

"Thomas"

Watching Bianca get up and leave, I couldn't help but feel terrible, like the worst person in the world. For a while, I could feel how uncomfortable she was, but I tried to ignore it and stay upbeat with the others.

I hoped that after dinner, we could talk again. This time, trying not to get angry and end up arguing.

I know it's not fair to demand anything of her, not now that we're not together, and especially not the night before she competes. But after our kiss this morning, I felt betrayed, strange.

While my teammates chatted, I thought about getting up to check if Bianca was okay. Just as I was about to do it, I saw Léon head quickly toward the bathroom.

In that instant, I regretted not doing it a second earlier, but I let him go. Besides, I didn't think I was the person Bianca would want to see right now.

After a few minutes, both of them return to the table. Bianca seems happier, and while I'm glad for that, I don't like the fact that he was the reason.

Suddenly, I get serious but try to disguise it and not intervene anymore until the dinner ends.

The rest of the night goes smoothly, filled with laughter, anecdotes, and terrible jokes from my teammates. Every five minutes, my eyes drift toward Bianca, who's smiling.

As everyone gets up from the table to head to their rooms, I do too, with the intention of holding Bianca back for a moment to apologize and clear things up.

After a short search, I spot her in the garden talking with Martina and Léon. Slowly, I approach them.

"Bianca, can we talk for a moment alone?" I ask, timidly waiting for her response. I didn't know how she would react after everything.

To my surprise, she accepts my proposal, nodding her head. Suddenly, we step away from the group and head to a quiet corner.

"I wanted to apologize for the argument earlier. It seems we always fall into the same mistake. I shouldn't have gotten so upset or walked away without resolving things. I acted like an idiot at dinner, and I understand if you were upset. I hope this doesn't change anything between us," my words flow from deep within, with complete sincerity. I want her to see that I mean what I say.

She looks at me hesitantly, as if she doesn't know what to say, but then she responds with determination, "It's not that I was upset. Your attitude really disappointed me. It was like I was seeing a completely different person from this morning. Next time, don't say you're fine—tell me what's wrong so we can avoid these awkward situations. Also, I want you to know that I have no plans of getting involved with Léon; I only see him as a potential friend."

"Earlier, when you left, I wanted to get up and check on you, but I saw him go, and I regretted it immediately. I'm not saying that bothered me; I'm glad he cares about you, but I want you to know that I do too," she smiles at me while I speak.

Suddenly, I feel her lips on mine. I didn't expect it at all; it surprises me, but I like it.

I like that she's the one taking the initiative, so I can remind her of it later when she complains about something. Without hesitation, I grab her waist, pulling her closer to me, and she wraps her arms around my neck.

The kiss feels magical, just like the one this morning. When we pull apart, she leans into my ear to whisper something.

"Thank you. I care about you too, and I want you to tell me every time something is bothering you or when you're feeling down. Especially now, with the competition, I don't want a stupid argument to affect you in the slightest," she says, as I pull away to look into her eyes.

"I loved the kiss," I exclaim with a smile, to which she responds by pushing me away playfully, laughing.

"So did I," she says as she walks away to rejoin the others. I stand there frozen, not knowing what to do.

Inside, I feel at peace, knowing that things between Bianca and me are getting better. From now on, I know I need to set aside jealousy and focus entirely on the games if I want to succeed.

Letting go of my thoughts and realizing the time, I decide it's time to go to bed. I feel a little nervous but also very calm and excited, eager to get started.

Tomorrow would undoubtedly be a special and exciting day.

*Hi there! So sorry for the long wait. Here's a chapter. In a few minutes there will be more. Thanks everyone for reading! 💕✨🫶🏻