poems by yours truly

wlw poems 1+2

okay so since its a sudden trend on tiktok to do very sad angsty (and rarely ones with happy endings) wlw poems, so imma do it

bc yes. :3

(heads up, sorry for the bad writing)

1.  A Squirrel and a Walnut

I could have easily forgotten her, I forget everything.
But I could never.

Life was torture, and so I escaped to the phone, and there I met her, on discord.

We didn't connect immediately, but I did know I would want to get closer. I had religious trauma and she was Christian but it didn't matter...to us. 

It was July Fourth when she messaged me. She wanted help with a discord bot for the server, one that I had expressed use in. I helped, she thanked me, and we grew closer. 

We shared secrets, and our troubles. We comforted, and played. We gained some inside jokes, but none compared to the later amount. "Boop". "Beep". "Blop". "Bloooooppp". "Blub".

It was something I had never felt before. Peace. I could curl up in her arms, and nuzzle noses, but only on online roleplay. And that hurt. Like hell. And the jealousy, but she would never know about that.

Her birthday was a month before a holiday. The perfect holiday for her. It matched like a puzzle piece. She was older, just under a year so, but much wiser. 

She called me Hers. I called her Mine. Just platonically...right? In front of others it we added tone tags, but to us it was something secret. There was always something there, but neither of us wanted to mention it.

I smashed my laptop by accident, hiding it from my father who had snooped while I showered. Luckily he saw nothing, but I now had to steal a phone.

 She had similar incidents, we both knew what it was like. She still loved her family though. Somehow. And thought they loved her back. Let them treat her like trash. One family's black sheep is another's traumatized love.

She was still Christian, I only considered it now. For her. Only her. I didn't believe it though. Mostly. If he existed I knew he was hateful if he was anything like my church said. Or hers. Our families. They would disown both of us. And have pleasure from doing so. She would never accept that, despite her past she had shared with me, she clinged to the hope of love. I did too. I clinged to her.

She said I'd gone through more, but I knew that to be false. Some of the things they'd done to her...were horrifying. It tore my heart open that I couldn't protect her. From reality, or her nightmares. She felt the same about me.

 Of course she did, she was caring, amazing, wonderful, like a pastry. Different on the inside than the outside. A pineapple. A Pineapple. A Pineapple. 

Nobody knew her. Not even me, and I knew that. I was the same. Maybe thats why she was so comforting. So kind. I loved her, and soon realized that. I think I considered myself a monster, disgusting for it. I definately felt guilt. Not just because of religious trauma, but because of a friendship that would end if the secret ever came out.

She didn't like hearing swears, so I tried not to around her. I would do anything for her. It brought more of the whispers back. The voices from church. From home. I didn't mind much though, for her.